JASON
"Yeah, I think uhm, I think I'm gonna do it tonight." I say nervously. All of the girls look to me with sadness in their eyes. They've supported me since the beginning of this and here they are, in the very end.
Tonight I will end Jason and I's four year long relationship. While his drinking has always been a issue, it's become unmanageable. I've tried to be there for him. I've talked him through rough times, I've defended him and I've held him when he just simply broke. But he has done nothing in return. He's hardly tried to control his drinking and at some point, I have to take care of myself and realize that I deserve better than this.
"I'm sorry Y/N. You shouldn't have to deal with this." Emily says, her voice soft and gentle.
I shrug and pull on my coat to shield me from the harsh weather. I'm not naive, I'm actually far from it but something told me that Jason and I would last. We're not perfect people. Jason is an alcoholic and I'm a major depressive but we fit. Somehow, the mess of our individual lives balance each other out.
As I turn into Jason's neighborhood, I find myself growing calmer and calmer. I'd expect the opposite from myself but my hands have stopped shaking, my heart isn't beating as rapidly and I'm able to control my once ragged breaths.
Before leaving the safety of my car, I take one last deep breath and head towards the front door of the DiLaurentis home. This house holds so many memories.
After a few knocks I'm greeted by the familiar face of Jason. His expression doesn't read one of concern considering he is unaware of what is to come.
"Hi baby." he says while moving aside to let me in. I don't say anything back to him, I just stay as close to the door as possible.
"What's up? Everything okay?" he questions as he shuts the door and examines my strange demeanor.
I exhale deeply and do a little countdown in my head.
3..2..1
"I can't do this anymore Jason." I admit. His lips part at my words and he finds himself stumbling over his words, unable to form a coherent sentence. My heart aches so much. I'm convinced that Jason, the broken guy standing in front of me is the love of my life. And I've come to understand that although we may be meant for each other, the timing is off. And as cruel as that is, I'm just going to have to deal with it. Jason and I both need to sort things out. We both need some time for healing.
"What do you mean?" he questions even though I assume he knows the answer. "Y/N, what are you saying right now?"
My gaze falls down to my fingers which I'm picking at in order to keep my hands busy. Jason has always attempted to keep me from doing it. I wonder how I'll remember to not pick my fingers raw after we end this. He won't be there to remind me anymore.
"I just..I can't keep taking care of you when I have myself to take care of." I tell him. I so desperately hope he'll understand where I'm coming from. I hope he loves me enough to realize that this is what I need to do. "I love you Jason, I do. But we both need to help ourselves before we can commit to this relationship." I add quietly, my voice cracking from being on the verge of tears.
Jason's hands run down his face as he tries to process what is happening. His usual strand of hair falls in front of his face as his head bows slightly.
"I'm just trying to understand what's going on. So, you're ending this?" he asks.
I nod my head. I don't trust my voice in this moment.
