JASON
My relationship with Jason is nothing short of blindingly confusing. We're both strange, introverted people who don't know how to properly communicate with each other. This leads to many unresolved problems and unspoken thoughts.
But tonight, I've decided to meet up with Jason and basically put it all out there. By no means do I want to do this but it needs to be done. And I doubt Jason will do anything.
It's weird with us. We're not officially together, there has been no definitive moment in which we established our relationship but we both kind of have a common understanding of what this is.
To be honest, I don't know how I've kept going like this. But, I guess it has to do with the fact that I love Jason. My heart holds a special place for him. He was with me during a really dark and scary period of my life and managed to look past the dysfunction. I wholeheartedly love him.
But the past few weeks, I've noticed Jason talking with other girls. And not in a regular, average way. He's very flirtatious with them, he hangs out with them a lot and I'm just doubting the stability of our 'relationship'.
As I park on the side of the street which is in front of the Brew, I spot Jason sitting outside. He takes notice to me and smiles softly, his eyes telling me he knows something is wrong.
I approach the table and take a seat, my expression cold and hardened. I can't help but to be angry at him. We've poured ourselves into this love and he goes and does stupid shit like this. He's losing my trust which is already hard to acquire.
"Hey Y/N," he begins with a sigh. "Look, I know what this is about and-"
I'm quick to cut him off and make sure he knows that I'm not dealing with his bullshit excuses.
"Great, then maybe you'll have an idea of what I'm gonna say. Jason, I love you, okay? You know this. I always will but I can't keep doing whatever this is. Because I'm not the type of girl to chase after a guy. And I'm not gonna start with you." I state, hopefully getting my message across to him.
He doesn't look surprised at my words. He sighs and nods his head. His gaze falls down to his coffee and he attempts to distract himself from what is going on.
"I'm sorry." he tells me. My expression softens at his sudden apology. "You deserve to be treated better than what I'm doing. I just —I'm not good enough for you." he explains. And although this doesn't excuse how shitty he's been to me, it breaks my heart.
How could Jason believe he isn't good enough for me? He's everything I need. He's the light in my darkness and the voice of reason amongst my irrationality.
"What would make you think that?" I question in a hushed voice.
"Because Y/N, you're you and I'm me."
I shake my head and look at Jason directly in his eyes. The eyes that I fell in love with, the eyes I've looked into time and time again as sadness enveloped my body.
"That's ridiculous Jason. You're more than enough for me but I'm...I can't keep doing this. I won't chase after you." I repeat. He needs to make a decision or else I'm gone. It will hurt me to walk away but at the end of the day, it's what I would need to do.
"I want to be with you and I will do everything I can to not hurt you. You're my bestfriend, babygirl." Jason tells me, resulting in a stupidly big grin to appear on my face. We both stand up and walk towards each other, a newfound sense of happiness and relief washing over us.
