A/N: Based on the Deny U music video as well as the lyrics, Goodbye From Lonely and Future Friends
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I can't breathe but I'm holding myself together with the last bits of strength that I have. I'm gripping the seat, my knuckles turning white but I just need something to hold onto to keep myself from fully breaking down.
"I can't keep up with you."
"Wha- what do you mean you can't keep up with me?" I ask, terrified. Scott just lets out a sigh, sending a sharp pain through my heart. I can feel it - we're gonna break up.
"You keep pushing me away!" Scott shouts, his voice breaking. Still, with his voice quivering, he continues. "There's a distance between us that wasn't there before. You don't-" He puts his hands up to massage his temples. "I feel like you're not committing to this relationship. Did you fall out of love or something? Tell me, Mitch."
"I didn't." It's just a whisper, but I hope he hears it. "I love you so much, Scott."
"You don't act like it!"
"How do you want me to act?!" I suddenly snap, my teary eyes on him. "What am I supposed to do, Scott? Just tell me!"
He averts his look from me. I just bite my lip, nodding.
"So that's it?"
"I- I think so..."
"We can fix this..." I give up. There's no way I can hold the tears in any longer, and they're now freely rolling down my cheeks. I let out a sniffle. "Scotty, don't leave me..." With the back of my hand, I wipe the tears away but new ones keep falling down. I'm getting my jacket all gross and wet.
"I don't think we can... Mitch, I just... It's bigger than that. We don't- we're not meant to be."
"Don't say that..." The last bits of hope that I had left keep shattering. "Let's talk this out and we can fix what's broken..."
"I feel like we're not on the same level. I- I love you. I'm putting my heart out for you to take but you just... leave me there. Like you're waiting for someone better to come around."
"That's not true." I look over and see that Scott's eyes are red and wet as well, and the expression on his face is the most broken one I've ever seen. "I'm scared," I admit.
"We've been together for three years," Scott continues. He's obviously on the verge of tears, his voice breaking slightly and shaking. "Don't you think it's time to trust me?"
"I do trust you..." Though I know that's not entirely true, and Scott has a point. I'm terrified of commitment, scared to let someone in, to see me at my worst, to just... be open because I know it'll scare people away. I'm... fucked up. I can't make people stay.
"You know that you don't... I can see it in your eyes."
"I- I'm sorry...." Sobs are coming out of my mouth and I can't contain them. My vision is blurry, I squeeze my eyes shut and cover my face with my hands. I don't want him to see me like this.
"I can't do this anymore..." I hear Scott whisper. "I'm sorry, Mitch. I love you but- I can't."
"I love you," I force out. I mean it with everything that I have but I can't say it, my throat is tightening up making it so hard to breathe, my heart is breaking apart and my sobs make it hard to understand me. "Y- you're everything to m-me."
We're home. Scott stopped the car at the side of the road right across our house a while ago but we were still fighting. Now that the silence is overwhelming me I don't know what I'd rather do - stay here to be with Scott for the last couple of minutes or get out as soon as possible, get air into my lungs, go inside and pretend that Scott's gonna come back and everything will be alright. But I know it won't. I won't even get one last kiss from the love of my life.
