The Love of Azazel

Chapter 13

The Kingdom of Hell
Azazel's POV

I stared at the spot next to me on the bed. Raziel's spot. I thought of his form, stirring and moving in his sleep in order to find comfort while I sat, wide awake, next to him. I would watch him sigh happily as he leaned his head against my waist, trying not to wake him with my reactions. The temporary light had come down, no longer having a purpose now that Raziel was gone, leaving me in complete darkness as I sat.

Fortunately, my eyes were already adjusted to the darkness, and I could see just fine. Still, I missed the soft light that shined on the bed, allowing me to see Raziel's peaceful sleeping expression.

But that's gone now. He's not coming back. I drove him away, just like I'd wanted. It's been a month since his departure back to Heaven after Grim's message, so I know he's not coming back. He must hate me now, especially after how I acted. Insulting his leader, running away, then turning around and acting cold, shutting him out; no wonder he didn't want to come back here.

---

"Well he said he'd be back, right?" Micah gave me a comforting look. 

"Yes, well, demons say a lot of things; doesn't make them true." I sighed, looking at Lucifer who sat next to Micah.

"But he's not a demon; he's an angel." Micah persisted. "Have some faith."

I laughed bitterly. "He may be an angel, but I'm a demon. I have no faith."

Micah bit his lip, watching me go quietly. I didn't turn around, not wanting them to see my expression. Or the tears welling in my eyes. 

I forced myself to work, despite my mind being elsewhere. The endless organizing, training, and punishing helped me to try and forget. After all, I wouldn't be down here if I didn't deserve it. I should do my part and accept the fact that I can never have Raziel to myself. I laughed bitterly. This is exactly why I'd wanted to get away from him. This pain, it's the worst punishment I've felt since becoming a demon. Nothing could compare to the constant pain I feel whenever I think about Raziel.

This must be my punishment. For having such thoughts against him and his wife when I was alive, my punishment was to always remember that, even after death, I couldn't have Raziel. It truly made being a demon feel like hell. But, it was always something I knew was true. It was just hard to look at it in reality when I'd spent so long avoiding it. 

---

"He... What?" I stared at Micah.

"Raziel asked God to give him a vacation." Micah had a worried look on his face, but behind him Lucifer was trying really hard not to laugh. He'd fallen over on the couch, his face scrunched tight and his hand was over his mouth. 

I gave Micah a blank stare. "Can... Can he do that? Isn't Heaven like one big vacation spot?"

Micah shrugged. "No clue, but... That's what our reliable source told us."

"So I'm reliable now?" Seth leaned against the couch next to Lucifer. He thought for a moment, then added, "Well, for me, it is basically a vacation, but most angels are too uptight to agree with me. They insist on training newbies, praying, and having holy conversations 24/7. Well, maybe not 24/7..." He licked his lips, a blatant look of desire on his face.

Lucifer pushed himself up, his face in his hands as he leaned on his elbows. "And they say I'm the devil."

Ignoring him, I looked over at Seth. "How did God reply?"

Seth looked down for a moment, and a nervous feeling twisted in my stomach. "He... He refused, immediately seeing this as a plot to head down to 'a sinner's land' to see that 'no good, corrupted man.'"

Lucifer stared one hand spread in front of him, inspecting his nails. "He said that? He's become looser with his words over the past millenia."

Seth shrugged. "Well, maybe I exaggerated his words, but that's the jist of it."

My chest stung at the words. Well, it's not like I expected to be accepted by God. Still, to hear it... "And, on top of that," Seth continued, "He banned him from leaving Heaven 'until those impure emotions for a sinner are expelled.'"

"He's... Banned from leaving Heaven?"

Seth nodded. "Yep. Can't leave until he's completely rid of his feelings for you."