30 Days to Victory

Day 16

MedSurgPastBoards1997#122: A condition characterized by decreased bone mass with normal mineralization and decreased bone strength:
A. Osteomalacia
B. Osteonecrosis
C. Osteolysis
D. Osteoporosis

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012116, Thursday, 23:07

God,

Good evening po. Thank you very much for today.

Father, ok, let me continue further by saying na kanina ay plano ko paiksian lang ang sulat dito. Kasi mag i-11pm na at diba sleeping time ko na dapat yun? Pero God, I just realized something. Hindi pa po ito polished, it's just a passing thought after I read the SSQ.

Kasi po Father, nanotice ko lang na nag-aalmost 1 hour na pala ang worship time o meditation time ko. So parang nangyayari ay yun nga medyo late na ako nakakatulog. Kasi diba po ang original plan ay dapat nakahiga na ako ng 10:30pm at basically ay dapat 30mins lang ang mediation time--prayer, lesson and journal writing included.

But napatanong po ako. Bakit sobra ko naman atang prinepressure sarili ko na maging strict sa meditation time? Eh kung sabi mo nga God sa Psalms 1 ay blessed ang people na nag-mimeditate sayo all the time, dapat ako ay magrejoice at be happy kahit di man masunod sleeping schedule ko?

Dito ako nagulo, God. Kasi I know you know how important sleeping is to me. Kaya yun, hindi pa po maayos pagkakaconstruct ko ng premise pero sana nababasa at naririnig niyo po ang nais kong ipahiwatig.

Impress to me what should I do, Father. And now, nagkaroon ako ng passing thought na bakit di kaya at 9:30pm maghalfbath nako para by 10pm nagmimeditate na. Sleeping schedule would be remedied pero yung study time naman ang concern...

Hay naku God, kita mo ako? Pinoproblema kasimpleng mga bagay. Sorry po. Pero ito po, tulong God. Help me discern thy spirit and answer.

I want to live a balanced life, fully connected to thee Father--doing things to lift up thy name and praise thee and ONLY thee. But God, kaydami lang po ang enemy na deni-device para maderail ako sa goal na yan. Help me Father. I talked to you of those things in verbal prayer, kayo na talaga bahala sa akin, God. Hindi na po kaya ng optimal capacity ko pero alam ko YOU are more than capable of doing it for me.

And I'm letting you Lord. Please be my partner, my coach, my confidante, my bestfriend, my soulmate and any status that my soul and feeble self is longing for. I still honestly have this vacuum filled space inside me, Father. And I don't know know how to stop it from consuming me though I know na kayo lang makakapuno nito.

Pero God, ito nga ay isang complaint, sorry po at kailangan ko lang talagang masabi at maconfide na sa inyo... Hindi ko po kayo mafeel minsan! As in. Sorry po. Alam ko ako talaga ang may mali kung bakit. Pero Father hindi ko alam gagawin, hihingin o ipapanalangin ko para mapunan niyo po iyon. God... please supply the words to my mouth and soul. Help me feel you Lord. Draw me closer to thee.

God, truly, I can't do a thing without you. Wihout CHRIST, I Am Nothing. I am a CHRIST-IAN after all. But Father, even despite this 'hypofeeling' of connection to you that sometimes envelop me, I AM TAKING CONFIDENCE IN THE KNOWING na gagawan niyo yun ng paraan. Kapit lang ako Lord, diba? Kasi kahit isang hakbang nga lang gagawin ko ay You will run the rest of this line that separates me from you.

And I am brought to tears thinking how great you love me, Father. These thoughts keep me going. You love me, Lord. Yes, you LOVE ME UNCONDITIONALLY despite HOW IMPERFECT and DIRTY I am. And God, thank you, thank you, thank youuuuuuuu!

Thank you very much JESUS! Thank you for giving your life for me. Because YOU LIVE, I can do this. Even feeling the weight of my emotional instability, I am claiming the promise of your comfort, Father. I shall persevere. I shall continue praying even how nonsense my prayers sometimes sound, how inconsistent are my flow of thoughts and how my lack of faith is showing. But there is a knowing Lord, right? I'll just push through at kayo na bahala sa lahat. You'll supply me with everything that I need and they would even be overflowing.

Again, thank you very much Jesus! All this are possible BECAUSE OF YOU. ALL BECAUSE OF YOU.

May I live for YOU ALONE, YOU AND YOU ALONE.

Mimie :)

23:35, 012116, Thursday