Breaking hearts

Chapter fifteen

Katniss POV

I'm shaking and trembling as he comes towards me, I'm defenseless.He has taken the person that means the most to me, to use against me. Again. It's like Peeta is back in the Capitol, and I'm back in the dull grey hallways of thirteen crying my eyes out, knowing that any false move on my part could be taken out on him. Snow has crossed the line now, and I can't do anything but do it.

"Please... don't make me.. I can't do it.. I can't.. not now.." I sob. I can't stop crying. My jumpsuit is soaked. The tears just keep streaming. I cover my face with my hands and sob.

He moves closer to me, I look up to see him. Half his face covered by the shadows of the cell, his scent reaches down into me and chokes me. The scent makes me feel like Peeta's cold fingers are choking me again, but it isn't Peeta. The horrific scent of roses.  

"Oh cheer up Miss. Everdeen, soon you'll be with him anyway."

I look up at him, wanting to kill him, I look out in the hall and see two peacekeepers, I sigh and turn back to the evil man who calls himself our president.

"I can't... I can't kill him.. I can't.."

Snow sighs but then returns to his evil grin.

"You have to, or your baby will never see the world."

"It doesn't deserve this world! This world takes you through a ride of hell! I don't even consider this a life. Nobody should have to go through what Peeta and I went through. We are just kids! We are fucking seventeen, not even of age yet! And I already have experienced more trauma than most people in their entire lifetime! And now it gets worse, because you are making me be the one to end the life of the most important person in my life. You are fucking horrific and I hope you rot in hell!" I spit in his face.

He chuckles, walking towards the door of my cell.

"I hope you haven't lost your archery skills Miss. Everdeen, I wouldn't want Peeta to be disappointed."

The cell is dark and lonely, I crave Peeta's warmth. It's still freezing, but they most have turned up the heat some.

Peeta must be so scared, I want to save him, I want to protect him, but I will be the bitter end of him. The girl who loves him, will kill him.

I remember right after we got captured, I tried to kill Peeta in his sleep by choking him to death. I remember how scared I was that he was going to get hurt again, he was so utterly traumatized that I wanted to protect him from the world.

Now it is completely different. Peeta has a child that is going to be born soon, and I want him to be there. I want us both there to raise it. But the world has also ripped or child away us so that we can not raise it, or even be in the child's life. I will be there for a month. Peeta will never get to meet them.

I start crying, there is no one to comfort me anymore. I don't have Peeta's strong, protective arms around me. I cannot kill Peeta, he's my best friend, he's my everything. I can't kill him.

I'm a puppet, on a string being made to dance. I've tried to cut my strings before, I even had them lose at one point but than I got rewired and I'm string up by neck struggling for air as he tells me to dance, and I must dance.

The baby kicks and I remember why I have to kill Peeta.

"I'm sorry." I whisper to the baby. I rub my stomach gently. "Your mommy has to something horrible, but it's for you, so you can get a shot at life. I don't know if it will be a good one, but you will have one and that's better than nothing at all. Right? I don't know, your dad would say yes but I don't know...... but I never know. Your dad is always right, you will never get to meet him, but you've heard his voice. He's amazing and.."