If Only

Eleven

Eddie.
Sept. 1988.

He was standing on the edge of the cliff in the quarry, looking down at the water.

A warm, balmy breeze gently hit him in the face, pushing back his normally immaculately styled hair.

Eddie sighed and lifted his head to the sky, squinting up at the clouds as the sun warmed his face.

It was a nice day. Not too hot, just nice and warm. It was fall, but it hadn't begun to grow cool yet.

He'd skipped school for the first time in his life.

It didn't feel as great as Richie always said it did when he simply walked out.

Richie.

The boy with the dark curls that Eddie was nearly obsessed with was half the reason he'd skipped school to come here, the other half being that the day was too nice to waste.

Unfortunately, a certain dark haired boy with glasses so thick and smudged with fingerprints and dirt one often wondered if he saw better with or without them had a similar plan.

"Eddie?"

"Oh fuck."

Eddie turned around to stare at the boy that had crept uninvited into his alone time.

"Why is it that you always have to come and ruin things for me, Richie?" He asked blandly, not exactly angry with the older boy, but his words dropped with venom regardless.

Richie flinched visibly and held his hands out in defense almost.

"Look, Eds..."

"Shut the fuck up. And don't call me that." Eddie snapped, his anger flaring. "I just wanted a nice fucking day to myself. I even skipped school for this. You do realize my mother will flay me alive for this, right?"

Richie looked down, pushing his glasses up when they slipped down his nose a little.

"And get some fucking contacts already, nobody likes your glasses. They're tacky and disgusting."

"Yeah well at least I don't have a god damn fanny pack..." Richie mumbled, almost under his breath. "Look, I didn't come here to argue, Eddie. I didn't even know you were up here. I wanted a day off too. To think."

"Yeah to think about what? How you broke my fucking heart?! How big of an asshole you are? If you don't want to even be friends then just say it so I don't have to suffer anymore!" Eddie yelled.

"Okay, Richie? I... I like you okay? I really fuckin' like you and you broke my heart."

"I know. I'm sorry."

Richie looked genuinely sad, staring down at the ground sheepishly.

Eddie simply huffed and turned back around to state out at the water again.

"I just wish everything wasn't so fucked up." Eddie said suddenly after a few minutes of silence. "I mean... look at us." He turned to stare at Richie. "I'm gay and my own mother thinks I'm going to get AIDS from just being within five fucking feet of another boy and your parents don't even give a shit about you."