If Only

Thirteen

Eddie.
Oct, 1989.

Eddie wasn't so sure of anything anymore.

A crisp breeze pushed his hair back, gently hitting him in the face as he walked down the street, brown eyes fixed on the ground.

The concrete sidewalk was cracked, with ugly grey weeds sprouting out and curving upwards.

Dead leaves crunches under his feet as he walked.

Eddie didn't notice, he just continued walking and thinking.

He couldn't remember the last time he talked to Richie, but Richie was always in his mind, whether Eddie knew it or not.

Eddie hadn't even talked to Bill in a while.

There was the occasional conversation and the nods and curt words of acknowledgment when they saw each other in the hall, but the Losers were drifting apart, and everyone knew it.

Bev had initially tried keeping everyone together and acting as their glue, but the task proved too hard for her and she slowly drifted away too.

Eddie missed Richie the most.

Sure the darker haired boy was annoying and a pain in the ass sometimes, but Eddie missed him so fucking much.

He couldn't help but wonder what he was doing right now.

"Dammit..." Eddie whispered to himself, shifting his gaze from the ground up so he could watch in front of him.

He'd ended up at the wellhouse.

A frown ghosted across his lips as the memories from the summer of 1988 hit him like a freight train.

And he remembered.

He remembered Pennywise, the swimming, the fights, the final battle. Everything.

Sure, he still had worsening nightmares, but he'd nearly forgotten where they'd all stemmed from.

"Why can't everything just go back to the way it was before?" Eddie questioned out loud, knowing he was alone and nobody could hear him.

"Why do you say that?"

A voice cut through the brisk October air like a knife through butter.

Eddie jumped and turned around to see none other than Richie Tozier leaning against the chain link fence across the street, unlit cigarette hanging from his lips.

"Richie?"

"That's my name, yeah. I'm surprised you haven't forgotten it after all this time, Kaspbrak." The taller boy smirked and brought a lighter to the cigarette, lighting it and taking a long drag from the cancer stick.

Eddie watched warily, choosing not to respond to Richie's jab.

"I'm sorry." He said finally, though there was little emotion behind his words.

Yeah he missed Richie like hell, but he'd never let him know that.

"Sure you are." Richie responded, a dry, humorless laugh escaping his chapped lips.