Pure At Heart

Pure At Heart (18) My feet are so cold!

"Stop being afraid about what could go wrong and start being positive about what could go right."

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"Zayd what are you doing?" I asked him when he wouldn't stop. He kept walking without answering me. It was almost dark now. Everyone else had left and the waves were now coming up to my back.

"Zayd!" I snatched my hand away from him. He started laughing. "What did you think I was going to do?" he said. I stared at him in disbelief. He was seriously laughing when we could've actually drowned.

"Let's settle this my way.. back at the hut", I said as I started walking back to the shore. "Where are you going?" I heard him shout from behind. I kept walking and didn't look at him until I reached the end. He struggled walking back since the waves were heavier than him, but Alhumdulillah made it.

"What is your way of handling stuff?" Zayd asked as slicked his hair back with his hands. Him and I were dripping wet and I did not like getting my clothes wet. I just wanted to go and get a nice shower and go to sleep. It had been an exhausting day and we were going to back to New York in two days; so we might as well start packing up. I didn't want to leave; I was having a perfect time here. Because who knew what "perfect timings" were waiting for me back at my home.

"I ignore stuff", I said with a smile. He stared at me. "What?"

"Ugh.. forget it. By the way, what were you going to do over there? You didn't have any plans to-

"Drown you?" Zayd finished my sentence for me. I stared at him as he paused for a minute. "I wasn't going to drown you." His face suddenly changed from a smile to serious and I knew he was going to say something inspirational. I imagined him raising his hands and giving a pep-talk about how I should be patient and not worry about anything. I could bet he was a khateeb in his olden days; but I wasn't exactly sure.

"I just wanted to get your mind off of whatever you were thinking about", he said with a grin. I stood still. "You just nearly floated me away in the water just so you could get me thinking about something else?" I repeated. He nodded. "Yup."

"Wow", I said. "You're deep."

"Was that supposed to relate to these waves?" he asked. I laughed. "That was even deeper", I told him as I started walking back to the huts. All the other huts had lightened up. Some people were getting their Bar-B-Que grills out while some were coming back for another round on the beach. All I wanted to do was sleep. But I knew this wasn't possible since Zayd wouldn't let me.

"You know, you're walking a lot faster for someone who's tired", Zayd said as he caught up to me. I laughed. "How do you know I'm tired?" I asked. I didn't tell him I was sleepy or tired. I never told anyone what I was feeling; I found it rude and displeasing. Why do it to others when you don't like it for yourself?

"I can read that in your eyes", he said as his smile returned. I laughed again. I guess I was very happy and relieved since I had laughed so much in one day.

"You can read people's eyes?" I asked as I focused on making some footprints on the mud. I wasn't looking at his expressions but I knew he was smiling. Would he ever quit smiling? Nahh.. I liked it.

"Not everyone's. But yours, I definitely can. I feel happy with you", he said without a smile or any kind of expression. He wasn't even looking at me. He had his head down and kept walking. It took a moment for me to realize what he had just said. He felt happy with me. I made him happy. I never thought I would hear this from anybody's mouth. I didn't think people would think I'm this special. In fact, I, myself, haven't thought of me as someone special. I always took myself as the ordinary girl, with a troubled past and most probably future. Zayd said I made him happy definitely meant that I meant more than just a wife to him. I meant a friend to him; his happiness. He was happy with my company. Ever since I heard those few words of grudge from dad's mouth, I wanted someone to tell me that I'm not worthless. And that I am special. And that I shouldn't be crying over what my dad said. Because i'm unique and my dad's words shouldn't bother me. Up till now, all I wanted was someone to tell me that they can't live without me. That i'm their source of happiness. And no one other than husband fulfilled this wish. Allah really had given me a beautiful gift and I could never be grateful enough for this gift.