Pure At Heart

Pure At Heart (34) A dark lining

"What hurts the most is that things will never be the same again."

____

"Thank you for everything," I said as I closed the door. Dylan had left just now after being here with me for almost 4 hours. We both were shocked, confused, and tired of trying to figure what that one particular letter meant. I kept reading it over and over again to see if I had left out any minor detail that would end this confusion. But there was no detail. Nothing. Just those words which weren't letting me be calm.

Was Zayd really married before me? And if he was, why did he never mention her? What happened? Where was she now? What cruelty was he talking about? What did he do to her?

I picked up other cards and read them to figure if he ever wrote her name down. Maybe I knew her...? How would I know her though? I didn't even know, until 4 hours ago, that she existed.

No letter gave me any information about Zayd's mysterious yet uncertain first wife.

Dinner that night was unusually quiet. No one was talking and Ayesha hadn't even touched her food. I was too strangled in thoughts to even ask her what's wrong. I knew it was called being selfish but I didn't know what to do. I wanted to share all of this with her. But she had become a totally different person since the past one week. She wouldn't talk to me and would mostly stay in her room after she came back from work. I knew something was bothering her but stuff was bothering me too. And I needed to fix that before I could talk to her and give her hope about her situation.

"Ayesha, why aren't you eating?" I decided to break the silence.

"I am. Look," she said, stiffly pointing her finger towards her plate. Then she put the finger down in embarrassment.

"No look I'm fine. Stop bothering me. I am eating. Look the plate is empty," she said. She was acting abnormal and it was not giving me a good feeling.

"I'm just going to go and sleep. Good night to everyone. Sleep tight my loves," she said as she quickly got up and literally ran to her room. Her behavior was very concerning. But I figured I should leave her alone because it's just what she needed right now.

____

I couldn't sleep the whole night. The thought that there is another Mrs. Zayd Siddiqui on this planet was giving me uncertain feelings. I didn't know if I was sad for her or if I was jealous. The fact that Zayd wrote his feelings down for her and not me. What should I take from all of this?

If Zayd missed her and loved her so much, why did he marry me? I sat up because I felt like I was suffocating.

Why did no one in his family ever let me know? Why was she never a part of any conversation?

Why didn't Dylan know about her? He was Zayd's cousin. He should have known about her. He would have attended the wedding. ....Or maybe he did know?

But why would he lie and say he doesn't know anything? Was I making a big mistake trusting him again?

But he was a Muslim now.

Who knows?

Maybe this was part of another scheme. Another drama. Another business.

Ya Allah! Protect me from all evil.

I decided to ask Dylan if he could get some answers from Zayd's family.

I looked at the clock. It was 3:36 A.M.

I picked up my phone and texted Dylan.

Please call me first thing in the morning. Thanks.