the other day's conversation with jennie dreaded me. i wanted her apology so bad, i almost lost control of myself. thank god i was still able to get myself out there.
yes, it did affect me.
...
"so, you're not affected, huh?" jisoo crossed her arms facing me emphasizing every word saying she told me so.
i sighed hard and wiped the last evidence of tears in my face, recollecting myself.
i kept a hard face blatantly convincing myself that i'm tougher than this.
i ignored her question because i know it's just gonna end up with a lecture from her. which i think she understands because i heard her sigh and put a cup of coffee in front of me.
"thanks." i weakly smiled as i felt the couch heavy as she sits beside me, waiting for me to vent more.
"i was a fool... so stupid. so stupid to beg at her face the apology i've been waiting to hear. she must be laughing at me right now."
"no, you deserved the apology. all the explanations." she sincerely said.
i just sighed hard.
"i'm quitting the kim account."
jisoo immediately faced me with a shocked expression in her eyes that slowly turned into disappointment.
i just took a sip from my coffee, not really wanting to tell her the reasons because i know she's gonna object.
she sighed hard and crossed her arms across her chest. "you are?"
i finally looked at her and she's already raising a brow, waiting for me to justify my decision. i know what she's doing, this is the very thing she does when she knows i'm about to do the dumbest and careless decision ever.
though, i spoke with pure honesty. "i can't handle jennie."
"you can't?" she kept still with her position.
i tiredly rolled my eyes. "jisoo th--"
but she cut me off with a much louder voice now. "lisa."
i know i should shut my mouth now. nothing and no one can stop her from her lecture when she starts to ignore and cut your every explanation off.
i just looked at her and she sensed that i'm ready to listen so she continued.
"you're quitting the kim account? you can't handle jennie?... i mean yeah you could, if you're the lisa that i once knew..."
she's making sense.
"but you're the lisa that i know now. the one who doesn't gives a shit about everything and just kicks ass. where is that lusa? i don't think she's the one i'm talking to right now."
and the bell finally rang. jusoo now looks at me with a calm expression on her face waiting to know if it all made sense to me now.
and yes, she's right. everything changed since jennie. i ain't longer weak. but now, the old lisa is starting to morph back. and it slowly bothers jisoo and honestly, me too.
i took my silence and she understood it. she knew i got her point.
she scooted closer to me. "look, what i'm trying to say is, you're better than this lisa. if you said you have moved on from jennie, then now's your chance to prove it. and please, spare the kims the worry of finding another hot, kick ass, stubborn wedding coordinator."
