Theirs More 2 My Lyfe Then You Think You May Know

molested

I was eight or 9 years old when it happened. I remember me being at school and at the time me and my mother was living with my grandfather cause my sister and mom had angrument. So we was staying with him which was cool with my cause I had a friend who lived over there anyways so I was kinda happy to be staying with my papa. I remember one day when I was at my papa house somebody knocking on the door. So I went to answer the door and there was this tall older man at the door and he was like I'm looking for Florence uh ok hold on so I calledy mom to come here. So as my mom walked to the door it was like her face had dropped and she was shocked and I was like mom do you know this man and then she was like yeah I know him this is my son and I was like uh what you mean that ain't my brother and that's when she said no girl this ain't ur real brother but this is Cecil. He's a friend of the family and so I said hello and then walked off and went back into my room.So as my mother and him sit down chatting it up caughting up on old times I guess. I would come back and forth and check on my mom. So as I'm chilling and everything I guess my mom had fell asleep cause here he comes knocking on my door and he says can u come lock the door so as he leaves I lock the door beside him. So a couple of days go by and a couple of more days go by and everything is good. So one day while I'm at school and it's time for me to get picked up. I'm sitting there waiting for my mom to come and guess what she doesn't show up. So a course I'm thinking maybe she forgot or something until I see a the dude who was at my house Cecil he was at my school. So I'm thinking maybe he picking somebody up and cecil says hey LeAnn and I look at him and i say hi and then he say your mom had some where to go so she asked me to pick u up. So then my teacher asks me do I know him and I was like yeah so he tell my teacher that my mom asked him to pick me up. So a course she let's me go but she tell him that my mom needs to put him on the list for pick so they know who's gonna be picking me up. So as where leaving and walking home he starts talking to me and a course I don't really trying to talk to him cause I didn't really know him like that. So once we get home I go straight in my room and close my door and start doing what I normally do which is a little homework and as I'm chillin. Here he coming knocking on my door and so I go to the door and I'm like was up and he like is you ok and I'm like yeah I'm ok. Then he trys to come in the room and was like you want me to help you with your home work and I'm like nah I got it, just to get him always from my room. So as I go back to my bed and I got my window curtains open and I'm looking out the window when all of a sudden he come back and knocks on the door again so this time I open and was like yeah and he was like what you doing and I'm like nothing I'm chilling so then he walk in my room and sits on my bed and a course he say you got these curtain all open girl it's to bright in this room. Then he gets up and close my curtain and I was like why did u close my curtain I like looking out my window and he was like it's too bright in this room. So then I walk out the room and go the living room and climb up on the bed and look out the window cause I was looking for my mom. Saying to my self mom where are you hurry up and get here I don't feel comfortable with a man in the house around me. So then I ask him when is my mom coming back and he says oh she should be on her way back here. And on was like oh ok but I notice when I went in the kitchen the curtains was down and the blinds where closed so I was kinda getting scared. Then he comes out my room so I go back in my room and sit on the bed waiting for my mother to get there and as I'm sitting there come back in my room and he's like are u ok and I'm like yeah I just want my mommy. Then she gives me a playful push and starts trying to play with me to cheer me up but it wasn't working. So then out of no where he kisses my check and I wipe it off and then he started touching me in private places and I pushed his hand alway. Then he got up and left and I guess he went to go look out the window to see if my mother was coming but she hadn't showed up yet. So then he comes back and does it again and the places my hand on his private part and then he was like it's ok and then that's when he hear somebody at the door and run out the room and into the living room. It's was my mom just in the Nick of time and I wanted to tell her what he was trying to do to me and stuff but then I seen him look at me and put his finger to his lip which I already know meant be quite and don't open ur mouth. But that wasn't the first time Cecil tried to do something to me. There was times when my sister and mother wasn't home and I had spilled hot chocolate on my self and he came in the bathroom tried go get me to jerk off and suck his penis. And I wouldn't do it. Then some times people would think I'm his daughter and say I look like him. Bullshit I don't look nothing like him what so ever. But I remember this one time when it was late and he was going to met his brother and he asked me if I wanted to go and I said no and then my mom was like you can go with him and she was like go head go. So a course I know there was no way in hell he was going to see his brother. So we start walking down the street toward like my Nana house and once I see the basketball court thats when he was like let's go this way so I thought he was going to go down to the basketball court but he didn't he went to a little corner where nobody could see us or nothing and I was like please no and then he unzipped his zipper on his pants and pulled out his penis and had me put my mouth on his penis. As my mouth was on his penis he places his hand on the back of my head and starts pushing it down. He was like come on suck on it and as he pushing my head down and as me giving him head. But then as my mouth is still on his penis he then pees in my mouth and I spit it out then he puts his penis back in his pants. Then I say I want to go home and he takes me home. When I was 14 I remember going up to new Jersey City to see my family and uh this time me and my sister and my nephews stayed with my other sister booboo and Cecil was there and this was after my sister had passes he had gotten with my other sister. And when I found out that he was there I wanted to lose my mind but I couldn't because nobody knew about it. So when my sister was like I got some body who wants to see you I was kinda like oh god please don't let it be who I think it is and it was my worse nighmare because I felt like not only was he respecting my family but you was just with my other sister but now that she has passed away. you go and hook up with my other sister like what kind of man are u. But then I kinda felt like he was also doing this to hunt me. So as im standing there and he talking to me. I remain him do u remember what you did to me. And that's when I felt like I triggered something because he was like hey hey hey shhh keep ur voice down cause I dont want ur sister to hear u. And then he started to apologize and I was like I don't expect ur apologize because of you I'm damaged for like. this is something that I have to live with for the rest of my life. I told you to stay the hell always from my family but you choose not to so I could care less if somebody finds out. Then that's when my sister walks in the room and he's attitude changed cause he was like LeAnn you want some shoes or cloths what size do u where. So at that point he was trying to buy things for me just to keep me quite. But when he asked my sister latrena if it was ok she straight hit him with the no she don't need nothing she good I got her. I felt like she knew something was up with this dude, but what was it. Then when that night came I slept in my nieces room and my niece and nephews slept in the living room with my sister. And my sister booboo was in her room with cecil. When everybody was asleep he came out my sisters bedroom and came straight in my nieces room and once I heard her bed moved I knew that he was trying to make another move on me so when I turned around and caught him.first thing I said was. What the hell do you think your doing and he was like shut up and go to sleep. I guess he thought my sister was sleep but she wasn't cause she got of her bed and came in the room as well and was like cecil what you doing in my daughters room while my sister in here trying to sleep and a course he didn't have a good one. so what did he say oh I lost something and I came in here to look for it. But then my sister was like well get out while my baby sister in here and look for it in the morning. So he left and I was like thank God he's gone. But I was hopeing that she would catch him but she didn't. But you know what's funny about it is, when the next day came you know he never went in my nieces room to look for whatever he had lost cause he didn't lose Anything. There would be nights where I would see flash back of him touching me or standing over me and I would wake up. But it was like every time he could get me alone or when everybody went to sleep he would be some where near by ready to touch me just to please him self. I didn't understand why he was doing this or what he was getting out of this. But I know I didn't like it at all and I didn't say anything to anybody because I didn't want him to hurt my family or me . I felt dirty and disgusting with my self. Every since I was molested it took me a long time to trust a boy or a man cause I was always afraid of what they might do to me. I was 20 years old when I finally told my family and friends about what had happen to me. But then it was like once I told them about it and what had happen.thats when my sister had told me that he did the same thing to his daughter and to this girl who lived in her building right cross the Hall from her.and I'm thinking to Myself what kind of sick man does this to little girls.hes a father of two girls how do you live with your self every night knowing that you touched ur own damn child.I held that secret in for 13 years and I didn't know how to handle it and for the past 13 years I felt like I was suffering in a black hole all I wanted to do was cry and I wanted to die cause of how he touch me.