The Runaway Bride

Chapter 11 -- Gotta Fly away

I burst into my room with no thought to my previous 'I kissed Alex and I like it’ complaints while on my car.






There was no room for thought; my whole body was too full of my heartbeat. It pounded in my fingertips, in my ears, at my throat and in my temples until I was so consumed by the erratic thumping I was kind of shocked when I realized my autopilot setting had brought me home.






Sometime in the late hours of the night, I must have drifted off. I know this because I was woken up a while later by my phone ringing tingly in my purse

 

My head was thumping from lack of sleep, the light filtering through my grimy window was weak enough to tell me it was still fairly early and so for these reasons I wanted to just let the phone keep ringing.







I swear there's something in our genetic make-up, though, that makes a phone left to ring one of the most grating things in the world.

"Diane, Hija?" Marang Rosario's voice was even louder than usual when she came inside my door with a glass of water and a pain killer in the other. I was was still half asleep when I heard her say



"Is that your phone?"

 

"Umph," I replied, rolling out of bed and hitting the carpet with a hard thump.

Still caught up in the covers, I half crawled towards my purse, snatching it up and yanking it towards me.







The momentum rolled my phone out and into my hand and I blearily looked at the screen. The name blinking there made me sit up with a speed that made my head spin.





"Tyler!?" The shock of him calling, and the earliness of the hour jolted his real name out of me. No childish profanities this time.







"Diane.. " He sounded hoarse, but even so, my stomach jumped. “I miss you” That was presumably my 'bounce' response when it was too early for my whole body to leap up and down.

 

I was so preoccupied by my reaction to his voice that I realized I hadn't really heard what he'd said and I babbled out a confused, "What?"

 

"I said----." I heard him sigh “--- I miss you”







I don’t know what has gotten into me, but I didn’t say anything in return. Guilt was clouding up my mind.







What would I tell Tyler? I kissed someone else.. I ended up in someone else’s bed .. I let someone be all fatherly to Scarloe--- my baby ---OURs to be exact. What would I say?








Instead I did the most reasonable escape a trapped deer would do, turn off the power of my phone and throw it back on my bed





“Diane? Ayos ka lang ba?” Manang Rosario said as she laid the glass of water and that pain killer on my nightstand





"I need a cig, Manang..  I badly needed one right now"





"Tumigil ka nga, ang aga aga.. Maninigarilyo ka na?! Ano ba talaga ang problema?"






“Im hopeless, Manang” I muttered, my head was still buried on the carpet
“Utterly hopeless mother and wife-to-be”






"Teka, Ano? hindi kita maintindihan?At tumayo ka nga muna dyan .." she pulled me up and sat me beside her on the bed 





I gradually compromised whatever there is left on me, shoved the pain killer on my throat and grabbed on the glass of water from my nightstand






"I think I'm starting to feel for Alex" I blurted out and waited for her repremanding, her lecture and complain but it never came instead she smiled






"Ano naman ngayon? Magkababata naman kayo.. Hindi na nakakagulat yon, considering I've watch you kids grow up together"






I tried to give some thought to what she was saying; I dedicated a good few seconds to deciphering what that was supposed to mean, but still came up with nothing.






"Manang!!!" I groaned. "You're supposed to be helping me here, not confusing me even more!"





"Ano ba nararamdaman mo pag kasama mo siya?" she ignored my complaint. "Nararamdaman mo ba na nasa ulap ang pagiisip mo? Nararamdaman mo ba na parang tumitigil ang pag ikot ng mundo pag kasama mo siya? Nararamdaman mo ba ang paru paro sa ------"




"That's mad, Manang." I suddenly felt like I was thirsty for more water. So I grabbed on the glass of water on the nightstand and drank it all out "And stop reading all those pocketbooks on your cabinet.. it's making you mad too"




"Hindi mo naman sinasagot tanong ko. Ikaw ba?" Manang Rosario put a hand on mine, grabbing the glass of water from my hands making me look at her. "Ganon talaga ang nararamdaman?"



"Alen yung paru paro ba? Ang Cliche naman non" I said, trying to sound sarcastic, but failing miserably.



"Well, pwede ding pareho or lahat yon naramdaman mo na.."





"This isn't high school!" I exclaimed in frustration. "When I talk to a boy it doesn't automatically mean I'm in like with him or something. And parang kapatid ko na yun si Alex."





She let out an annoyed sigh and sat back, crossing her arms. "Wag mo akong pinaglolokong bata ka, Kilala kita Diane.. Mahilig kang mag deny atsaka, walang magkapatid na ganon kung makatitig sa isat isa"








"So, what? Because I looked at him that way.. it doesn't mean ---"







"Be honest with me," she was so far removed from a hippy dippy nanny of the house facade, "Ano ba naramdaman mo nung hinalikan ka ni Alex?"







The reminder of the kiss made my face flame and my voice shake as I replied, "Hindi ko alam, hindi ko talaga alam, Manang. " I ran my hands through my hair making it messier







"Sssh.. Ayos lang yan pangga .." Manang Rosario uncrossed her arms and wrapped me in a hug, instantly contrite.






Leaning my head against her shoulder, I accepted her comfort, but at the same time my brain was whirring.








"Ikaw lang ang maaring makapag desisyon nyan para sa sarili mo, Pangga" She caressed my cheeks and smiled "Siguro naguguluhan ka lang ngayon.. Siguro kailangan mo pa ng mahabang panahon para makapag isip"











"You're right, Manang.. Siguro nga kailangan ko talaga ng panahon.. Panahon para makapag soul search at mahanap kung ano ba talaga gusto ko"







My brain had suddenly kicked into gear, seriously working on the problem of what had happened the night  with Alex, and I thought maybe, just maybe, I was headed towards an answer.