ALFIE
The music was loud and there were people everywhere. I could see people stumbling around, obviously drunk and then there were the ones looking after them and trying to sober them up. The funny thing was, even though I am 20 years old I've never really been one for parties. I tend to be the one sitting in on a Saturday night, too afraid to go out with Marcus and my other friends because I'm scared that it will happen again.
The last time I was out was on my 18th birthday. I had just turned old enough to legally drink alcohol and I wanted to celebrate. Me and Marcus and a bunch of our other mates went out clubbing in London and we were talking to girls and just lots of other people we didn't really know. We had been in there for a while and I hadn't really felt comfortable and I had always been a claustrophobic person. I didn't really think it through that the clubs would be to full. My heart started to beat fast and my hands started shaking. I got all sweaty and I started to get pains in my chest. I couldn't breathe properly and when Marcus noticed he took me off to the side and tried to calm me down. I had no idea what was happening to me and I just wanted it to stop. I could barely move and I could hear my heart in my chest and the thumping of the music. After about 15 minutes it started to stop and Marcus quickly got me a drink of water. I told him I just wanted to go home and then he took me back and I just went to sleep. A while later I realised that it was a panic attack that I had had that night and I had never wanted to go out clubbing or partying since but I knew that I needed to face my fears and tell myself that it wouldn't happen again. So here I am, at my first party in 2 years and I was really nervous.
"Marcus, I don't think this was a good idea."
"Alfie, it's fine, you'll be fine. If you think you're going to panic find me as soon as possible and we can leave okay? I promise."
"Alright, thanks mate. Guess we better find the beer."
"Yeah" We went off to find something to drink going around people and smiling at the behaviour of all the drunk people in the room. I was in a better mood than what I thought I was going to be, a party was different from a club and I was going to try and enjoy myself. We found the drinks table and I got myself a beer and so did Marcus. We walked around and Marcus found some people to speak to. I sat on a chair at the side drinking my beer just looking around and everyone and occasionally laughing to myself when I see someone fall over or say something they'll probably regret the next day.
I see a group of girls walk in the door, laughing together. Each of them have a bottle in their hands, either a beer or alcopop. They had been drinking before which was obvious by their behaviour and they all looked stunning. They came into the room and started speaking to everyone.
One of the girls came over a few minutes later and stood in front of me.
"So I guess you're that loner guy that just sits in the corner and watches everyone instead of actually enjoying yourself?"
I looked up and saw this girl standing in front of me. She was absolutely stunning. She had long blonde hair and was quite small. I stood up next to her and she smiled at me.
"I'm sitting at the side because this is my first party in 2 years and I have absolutely no clue how to act."
"Well then, if you tell me your name I can show you exactly how you are meant to act."
"Alfie"
"Well Alfie, I'm Niomi. So first rule of being at a party is dancing!"
She grabbed my hand and walked into the middle of the room. And she started dancing; I just kind of awkwardly stood there whilst everyone around me danced but not for long as Niomi took my hands and practically made me dance. I got into it after a few minutes of awkward dancing and then I started to enjoy myself. After a few songs I went and got me and Niomi another drink and then we carried on dancing and speaking. It was weird, I was actually having an okay time.
The longer the party went on the more people arrived and busier and louder it got. I started to get uncomfortable and I was scared that history would repeat itself and I would panic so I looked around for Marcus. I couldn't see him anywhere so I just dodged around everyone and I saw Niomi still dancing with some of the girls she walked in with so I just left her. I got outside as quickly as I could and stood outside the door.
I sat down on the cold damp ground outside and tried to breathe slowly and steadily. I took my knees to my chest and grabbed them close. I put my head against the wall behind me and closed my eyes. I managed to start breathing normally again and I started to feel better quickly. I sat there for a while before putting my legs down and breathing in the fresh air heavily. I decided to stay out here for a while before going back in to find Marcus.
A few minutes later a girl came outside and stood beside the door. She got a cigarette out of her bag and lit it. She started to smoke it and then she looked over at me and smiled.
"Hi, I'm Zoe. Are you okay?"
"Uh yeah, just a bit crowded, you know"
"Yeah"
I looked at this girl and I saw her instant beauty. Her long, gorgeous hair, the tight black leather top she wore, worn with a black skater skirt which has a leather trim at the bottom. She wore black suede heels which made her taller as she had a very petit figure. She looked amazing and I smiled at her. She dropped her cigarette on the floor and stood on it. She walked over and sat beside me.
"So is this how you spend your nights when you're meant to be at a party?"
"Uh, no, I just felt a bit funny, that's all."
"You get that too?"
"Get what?"
"Panic attacks"
"I, uh, excuse me? How did you know?"
"I saw you in there. I get the same."
"Oh"
I just stood there looking out at the night sky and she stood next to me doing the same. It was weird, coming to a party and enjoying yourself when you're not actually in there because right now I felt a sudden wave of happiness, enjoyment and just feeling good.
"So mystery man, I've told you my name. Now what's yours?"
"I'm Alfie. Alfie Deyes."
"Well Alfie Deyes, do you want to go back into that party? Or. Do you want to go for a walk and maybe get some food or something? I'm not usually in this good of a mood so my confidence is begging me to ask you."
"I think food sounds good. Do you know where the closest Nandos is to here?"
"I have every Nandos I have ever been near memorised. I think I know the way, it's not too long of a walk."
"I'll follow you then."
Zoe started to walk towards wherever the Nandos was and I followed. We spoke about whatever came to our minds and I surprisingly felt normal. I didn't feel awkward which was extremely odd to me as I had never been good with meeting new people. Zoe was different somehow. I hadn't figured out how but she was. And I think my instincts told me that this different was a good different.
YOU ARE READING
goodbye ▸ zalfie
Fanfiction'goodbye' (exclamation) - used to express good wishes when parting or at the end of a conversation. from the writer of morning little one - another zalfie fan fiction. this has been discontinued.
