goodbye ▸ zalfie

alfie

                        ALFIE

 "Zoe please, listen to me. I'm sorry!"

"You've gone too far, I can't accept your apology when it comes to this." She stated, trying to be strong.

"What can I do to make it better? What can I say?"

"There's nothing you can do anymore. I don't want to see you again." She brokenly said.

"I've tried to give you your space but I can't wait any longer. I don't want to loose you."

"You already have." Tears clearly welling in her eyes. 

I sat in the other room, listening to Zoe and Niomi arguing. I knew that had hit home with Niomi. Even though I wasn't in the room anymore, I could imagine what was happening. Zoe was probably standing her head in her hands, Niomi had been a friend for a long time and she didn't want to loose her. But knowing that what she had done had gone over the line of forgiveness. Niomi was probably standing in front of Zoe or pacing back and forth, trying to think of what to do to take the next step towards being friends with Zoe again.

Zoe and I had already spoken about this. I knew that Niomi seeing Marcus had been to much. She didn't just go over the line, it's like she took a running start and jumped miles over it. Niomi must have known the consequences of what she was going to do when she saw Marcus that day. She must have known it was going to hurt Zoe. I just don't think she realized how much.

The room next to me became silent and I didn't know whether or not to go through. If I knew Niomi wasn't there I would be through in a second but I didn't want to interrupt and be rude if she was still in the room.

"Just go Niomi. Please. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to argue anymore." Zoe demanded.

"Zoe, I want to sort this out, please." Niomi pleaded.

"Get out Niomi" Zoe slightly raised her voice.

"But Zoe please, just let me apologize."

"Niomi I said get out! Just get out!" Zoe shouted, she sounded stressed.

Niomi sighed then I heard footsteps, I assumed they were Niomi's and my thoughts were confirmed when I heard the front door to Zoe's flat close.

I stepped out into the living room where Niomi and Zoe were only moments ago. I walked over to Zoe before I enveloped her in a hug. She squeezed me tight before crying. She cried and I felt the tears soaking my t-shirt but I didn't care. I intertwined our fingers before walking over to the sofa. I sat down and she was next to me. She laid her head on my chest and I put my arm around her shoulder. We hadn't even spoken yet but I could tell my presence was comforting to her.

"Thank you Alfie" Zoe said quietly.

"What for?" I looked down at Zoe who moved away from me slightly so she could see me. Her big blue eyes glistened with tears and her face was slightly red from crying. She looked down at my hands before laying hers on top of mine. The size difference was me smile slightly. Zoe looked up at me again before speaking.

"For being here for me. For being someone I can speak to even though we only met a few days ago." She smiled before shifting closer to me again. Our fingers intertwined and I kissed the top of her head.

I knew in my mind the start was always the easiest. For us it didn't seem to be but I knew that this wasn't it. It never was for me. I could never have an easy life. I could never just be happy for a long amount of time, something always appeared and ruined it for me. Marcus and Zoe being together was something that bothered me immensely. I still hadn't spoken to Marcus, living in the flat had been the most awkward thing, I walked past him in the room silently. I walked out if he walked in. I knew he wanted to apologize, he had tried multiple times. I couldn't bring myself to sit down and listen to him about the topic any longer than I had to. I knew I was going to have to at one point but I just wanted to spend some time with Zoe for just now and I knew that it gave me an excuse to leave the flat during the day.

"I don't know what to do to make you feel better." I said to Zoe, not wanting her to be sad about the situation anymore.

"I don't know either Alfie. I don't know what to do either. I mean I've forgiven Marcus and not Niomi. If I'm being honest with you it doesn't really make any more sense to me than it does to you. But it does make sense to me in a way as well." I started to get slightly confused and I think Zoe could probably tell. "I mean Marcus treated me like shit, complete shit, and what he did to me was unforgettable, but I had gotten over it before now. Then when I saw him and Niomi together it made me so angry. At both of them, but I quickly realized that it wasn't Marcus' fault. He didn't know that Niomi and I were friends, he didn't know that his actions were going to hurt me, yet again. But Niomi knew what she was doing, she knew who Marcus was because as soon as I realized I was never going to speak to or see him again and I was in bed upset and crying. She was the one who comforted me. I told her everything and yet she still sees him? It's not right and I don't think I can forgive her for betraying me like that. Best friends don't do that to each other, you know?" I nodded so she would know that even though I didn't quite understand as I had never been in that position personally, she would know that I cared, that I was listening.

"I mean I know that we were best fri-" Zoe was cut off from speaking as there was a knock at the door. I immediately thought that it was Niomi again and I think Zoe did too because I could feel her tense.

"Zoe please! I know you're in there, your cars out front. I need to know if Alfie's there. Or do you know where he is? Please Zoe!" I heard Marcus shout from the other side of the door. Zoe relaxed slightly, knowing she wasn't going to have to face Niomi again but I tensed even more. I couldn't face Marcus, not here not now. Not at Zoe's with her in the same room. It had to be when we were alone so I could react how I really wanted to and not feel restricted because of Zoe.

"Zoe I know you're in there please answer the door! I want to sort this out with Alfie, I don't want to loose him." Zoe sighed before getting up from where she was. My arm left resting on the sofa instead of her shoulder. My heart sped up instantly and the feeling of panic started to rise in my throat. I jumped up from the sofa but I didn't know what to do.

I looked over at the door and saw Zoe open it, Marcus stepped inside and his eyes find me before I have a chance to do anything. I know that if Zoe has forgiven Marcus she's going to make sure I do too. It affects her more than it does me but this is new information to me she has had time to forgive him. 

I'm not mad at him for what he did to Zoe. It's not my place to be annoyed at him but I'm annoyed at him for the fact he would treat someone like that. That he doesn't even have the human decency to treat a human being with some respect, especially one as amazing as Zoe. And that's my opinion of her after only a few days.

"Alfie, listen to me. We need to talk. I'm fed up of you being pissed off at me."