goodbye ▸ zalfie

zoe

                        ZOE

I sat there, looking down at the ground. My elbows resting on my knees and my hands gripping onto my hair. I had no clue of what I could do help the situation. Alfie was pacing back and forth. He was clearly annoyed, even though me and Marcus weren't. Marcus was sitting across the room from me, looking like he was about to cry and there was this awkward silence in the air that I didn't want to break first.

"I should go. I don't want to speak about this anymore. I need to speak to Niomi anyway. See if I can sort whatever this is with her." Marcus said standing up. I looked over at him and the tears I saw surfacing in his eyes only moments ago had disappeared.

"Yeah, you should go." Alfie said, irritation clear in his cracking voice.

Marcus walked out of the room, his head held low and I realized that this was my chance to speak to Alfie properly, to sort this out. To figure out how we both feel. Not that I was going to know what to say, I didn't have a clue about how I felt when it came to Marcus. I know he's bad for me and that I don't want to be with him again but it doesn't stop me from having some sort of sentimental feelings for him. I have only known Alfie for about a day and I have already felt something between us. I don't know what but there was something there.

"Alfie, say something please." I pleaded, meeting his gaze. His brown eyes were glistening with tears and I felt like I was going to start crying too.

"What do you want me to say Zoe? What am I supposed to think about all of this? Because I sure as hell don't know." He said, his voice sounded broken. He sat down on the chair next to mine and I reached my hand over and placed it on his knee.

"Just tell me how you feel Alfie." I told him, a tear rolling down my face at the same time.

He looked up at me and laid his hand on top of mine. "I feel like I shouldn't be upset about this because it doesn't really have anything to do with me. I feel like it's between you and Marcus and that it was in the past. That it has absolutely nothing to do with us, now." A pang of guilt stabbed in my chest as I thought back to the kiss I had with Marcus earlier. "But I am annoyed, because I am so upset about it. I barely even know you, yet here you are. You're in my flat that I share with your ex-boyfriend and I actually think that I have some sort of feelings for you. Yet how can a person have feelings for someone they met less than 24 hours ago? So that's how I feel. I don't know how that affects you or how you feel now, but please can you tell me now? Because have of the confusion in my mind is how you feel about all of this." Alfie was letting the tears roll down his face by the time he was finished speaking.

I didn't know what to tell him. How was I meant to express feelings that I didn't know were there? I moved over and sat beside Alfie and put my hand on the side of his face, making sure he was looking at me. I leaned over and I laid my lips on his. I kissed him, hoping that I wouldn't have to explain my confusing feelings and that he would know that I at least felt this thing between us as well. We stopped to take a breath, resting our fore heads against each other. Alfie leaned in again and kissed me again. This was more intense, I could practically feel his emotions in the kiss. The anger and annoyance, the confusion and the passion. I knew now that it didn't matter what I felt towards Marcus, that was I felt towards Alfie was definitely what I needed. I needed someone that cried over something that doesn't affect him, but he knew it hurt me, just a day after he met me. It shows that he cares for me, even though he didn't know me. But that was something I was hoping he would do. I was hoping he would get to know me because the second his lips left mine I wanted them to return. And I never had that feeling with Marcus.

"That's how I feel." I whispered lightly, only centimetres from his face. Alfie smiled which made me smile. "Can we please forget about what happened in the past, I want to get to know you. I want to leave me and Marcus' relationship in the past." At least that's what I think I want.

Alfie nodded, still smiling. He leaned in and softly brushed his lips against mine before kissing me lightly. I smiled into the kiss, knowing that it meant we were going to progress further and we were just going to forget about the past and focus on maybe having a future and getting to know each other.