Not Ashamed

'Chapter Twenty Three ×

Time passes. Turns out university is easy when you're doing something you love. I'm the top of my class, I enter contests and shows and no matter what place I get, I'm always pleased.

I haven't spoken to my parents since Christmas, and I have no intentions to. They disrespected Axel, and in no way is that acceptable.

I also noticed that show business is extremely stressful. Sometimes, I come home and Axel is bouncing excitedly, waving lines in his hand, rambling on to me about a play he's in. Other times, I find him stuck under the covers, sniffling and saying that he's going to quit, give up. He always recovers, and always is ready for the next audition.

But nothing really changes, even as the end of university comes nearer, and I begin to fear my future living arrangement.

I got through school after that first year on scholarships and loans, and a little of my own money from high school jobs and selling portraits of anyone who will pay me to draw them.

"We are almost real people, do you understand that?" Johnathan is saying to me while I'm working on a picture for a woman that found my picture I posted in the grocery store closest to Daring. She wanted me to draw her daughter, so she dropped off a photo, and now I'm just copying it down in a rough sketch before officially starting in it.

"I know, it's pretty crazy," I agree.

"Pretty crazy? I have to be a grown up! I have to be, like, an actual person soon!"

"And you're not an actual person now?"

"No, of course not, I'm a child now. You should know, you're a child too."

I laugh at that. It's good to see Johnathan in moods like this. Since Peter visited him again after the breakup, he hasn't been the same. He gets moody, hurt a lot easier. I feel bad for him, but with Peter constantly on his tale even after all of this time, I don't blame him.

Peter hasn't found anyone else, and that's a huge surprise for me. Axel says it's because he's still heartbroken, still in love with Johnathan. I don't believe that for a second. Then again, I don't believe anything that has to do with Peter at this point.

I continue on the picture, listening to Johnathan talk as I do the final outline. I sketch a cartoonish face, but keep everything else authentic to how she looks.

"I think I might move back home for a while. You know, just for a year so I can find an apartment. What about you?"

That's a good question, I think. What happens after university ends?

"Uh... I'm not sure yet," I say, trying to push away any nerves I have creeping up. "I didn't think about that."

"You should start thinking about it. You can't live in a dorm room forever."

"I know."

Johnathans watch beeps, and I look up from my desk.

"Okay, my times up, off to my last exam of uni! Wish me luck!"

"Good luck!"

He rushes out the room, and almost knocks down Axel as he's trying to walk in.

"Where's he off to in such a hurry?" Axel asks, chuckling softly.

"Exam. Don't you have one?"

"Just finished my last."

"Congratulations, Axel Tomas, you're a free man." He walks up behind me, leaning over me to kiss me in greeting.

"When is your last exam?"

"Soon, so I should probably save the rest of this for later..."

"But, you're not going to," he finishes for me, and he's right. Animation is easy for me, because it comes naturally. I had to study a lot when I was doing Law because I didn't like what I was doing, but I like animation, so it's simple.