Not Ashamed

'Epilogue

"Daddy! Daddy! Get up, it's Christmas! Santa was here!"

My eyes open slowly. I peer at the clock. Six o'clock am. That's an hour later than last year, at least.

"I'm up, I'm up," I mutter. I close my eyes for a moment, but tiny hands pull at my arm and I'm forced to get up before she hurts herself. "Okay, Charlie, I'm up!" I laugh.

I hop out of bed, pulling my little four year old into my arms and tickling her. She giggles with delight, her spirit and eyes matching that of her father's.

"Where's your brother?" I ask her, carrying her out into the living room. She shrugs simply, her excitement overtaking anything else.

Her hair is blonde like Axel's, but it's long for her age. She won't let us cut it, so it's passed her bum. Axel braids it so it's not always in her way. Right now, it's laying messily by her sides.

She tells me to let her down when she sees the Christmas tree and the presents underneath, and I do as I'm told. She rushes to the tree, but I stop her before she touched the gifts.

"Charlotte, no opening gifts until we're all here. You know the rules."

"Sorry, Daddy."

I smile. "That's alright, precious."

I trudge into the kitchen, patting down my messy hair, and find Axel standing at the cupboard and taking out the children's cereal. I walk over and hug him from behind.

"Good morning," he says groggily.

" 'Morning." I look at the cereal box and add, "You know, they're not going to eat that. They're just going to eat chocolate and sweets all morning."

He sighs, but there's a smile on his face. "I was hoping they'd have a real breakfast before all the junk."

"Oh yeah, and Fruit Loops are so nutritious."

"Shut up, it's better than chocolate and candy canes. And besides, you lived on Fruit Loops in University."

"So what, I was poor and stupid."

Axel shakes his head, turning around to face me. "Bullshit," he whispers so the kids won't hear him swear.

"Oh," I tease. "You said a bad word!"

He shuts me up with a kiss, then slips past me and into the living room.

"Get Caleb!" I call after him.

"Yeah, yeah!" He replies. I grin.

I trot back into the living room and the second I sit down, Charlotte curls up on my lap. It seems she never leaves my lap and arms. She loves to cuddle.

"Can we open our presents yet, Daddy?" She asks, burying her tired face in my neck.

"Not yet, precious. Not until Caleb and Papa get here."

Before we got Caleb and Charlotte, me and Axel argued back and forth on what they would call us. We decided it would be Dad, and Papa, but we didn't know how to decide who would be what. So, extremely last minute, Axel decided the roll of Papa should be bestowed upon him, and I agreed. I could never pull off "Papa".

Holly was our surrogate. The doctor told us that, with the procedure he was using, it would be unlikely to even have one baby, and we were lucky enough to get two.

Caleb and Axel walk in, Caleb half asleep in his arms. Caleb isn't an early riser like Charlotte, but little Charlie never did like to sleep.

We have our own house now, which is no surprise being that we're a married couple with two four year olds.