Numb

chapter 2

My eyes were puffy and red. It had been two days since Yuri ended our engagement but I still felt the sting of his rejection. We have not told everyone about the cancellation yet. I am secretly hoping Yuri will change his mind again. The only other person who knows about it is Yurio because I needed someone to vent to. Now that I think about it, Phichit must know about it by now. I can not believe Phichit would say those things. He is basically the reason Yuri got so mad at me. Some more tears fall down my already damp cheeks. I just do not think that I can live in a world without Yuri. If I can not have Yuri, I will die.

"Are you ever going to stop crying, Victor? Honestly, you are so pathetic." Yurio walks into the room and makes a face at me.

While glaring at him I yell, "How would you feel if Otabek just up and left you! Stop being such an insensitive prick!" I start to cry some more at the thought of not being with Yuri. Yurio just shakes his head at me and walks away. Why is he being like this? He knows how much Yuri means to me.

My thoughts turn to the last thing Yuri said to me.

"For now we are not going to get married. I don't think I can trust you at all."

"But Yuri" I pleaded with him. I could feel my heart breaking into a trillion pieces all at once.

Yuri just sighed at me, " No buts. I do not want to hear you begging me. At this point I am done listening to you. Just leave please."

The tears started to fall and I could not speak anymore. I turned around and slowly walked away from the man of my dreams. My throat burned because I was trying to hold back the tear. I failed at that because as soon as I was out of Yuri's sight, I cried. It started with a few tears but it quickly progressed into a three hour crying session.

Just thinking about that night makes me want to break down all over again. Why? Why would he just leave me? Why would Phichit say such things to him? I have to get Yuri back.

"Yurio! Yurio! Come here." I call out to my friend. He is a really grouchy person all the time but he does care about me. He thinks I should just move on from Yuri but I know he is also wondering what made Yuri break up with me.

I could see Yurio walking into the living room. "What do you want you Russian Idiot!"

"I need to get Yuri back and I need your help to do it. Will you help me please?" I beg him. I already knew what he was going to say but I had to try.

He narrowed his eyes at me and pointed his finger, "If you think for one second that I will help you with some half baked plan to get that pig back, you would be horribly wrong Victor."

I start to sniffle as I whisper, "I can not do this alone Yuri. You are my closest friend in this world and I do not know what to do. I have to get him back or-"

"Or what? You are not going to die just because some worthless person decided to break your heart. You deserve better than him. In my opinion, if he really understood who he was going to marry, he would not have broke off the engagement." He shook his head at me and sighed in frustration. "He is not the god that you think he is Vitya. The sooner you realize that, the better off you will be in life."

"Please," is all I could say to Yurio. I hung my head down as the tears spilled from my eyes. " If it was you and Otabek I would not hesitate to help in any way I could."

"This is not about Otabek and me! I understand that you are hurting and-"

"Then why!!" I suddenly yelled at him. My anger getting the better of me as I glare at Yurio. I got up from the couch as I spoke to him, getting closer and closer. "This pain that I feel is killing me inside! Why will you not help me if you understand how it hurts me? Why will you not help me if you know you can?" My voice got softer and softer as I spoke until it was just a whisper. "I have been drowning in a sea of darkness my whole life and the only light I have ever found in that darkness is Yuri. Yuri is gone and so is that light. Now that I know what light looks like, I do not want to live without it." Then, when I was right by his face I said with a trembling voice, "I will die without Yuri, trust me on that." I turned my back to him and walked out of the house.

Without knowing where I was going,I randomly walked around until I found myself in front of Yuri's house. Before I could turn around to leave, Yuri opened the door and stared at me with shock. "Victor, What are you doing here?" I could tell that he had been crying.

"I want you back Yuri! Please do not leave me." I blurted out without thinking. My face heated with embarrassment. I had not wanted to sound so desperate but that is exactly how I felt.

Yuri gave me the most surprised look. "Do you really?" He asked like I would be lying about something like this.

"Yes. I am sorry I made you mad." I quickly say.

"Vitya! I am so sorry! I messed up!" Yuri started to yell as he broke down in front of me. I went to his side and held him. "I still want to marry you if you will take me back."

"Of course I will still marry you! You are the only person who I will ever marry." I hugged Yuri causing him to gasp because of how tightly I squeezed him.

"Victor?"

"Yes Yuri?"

"I love you. I really really do."

"I love you too, Yuri. More than you could ever imagine."

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