Jerika, the full story

France

J: I have to tell you something too...
E: well, just tell me
J: it's not that easy okay!

I could tell he was upset so I grabbed his hand.

E: It's okay

He started to tear up. I didn't know Jake could be soft like this. I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him into a hug. He cried in my shoulder a little. Hearing him cry made me tear up.

E: Jake... are you okay?
J: ugh.. I'm.. I.. I.. not really...
E: do you want to talk about it?
J: I don't want to but I can't keep this a secret from you..
E: okay.. well.. try to tell me what is on your mind..
J: okay..well.. You know in the vlogs I always say I'm from Ohio right?
E: yes *questioning tone*
J: So like, I'm not from Ohio. I actually wasn't even born in America. I'm origionally from France, and I have lived in France for about 9 years or something...
E: okay? So why is that bad?
J: In those 9 years my mom and dad alway went to church and me and Logan had to go with them. Not that going to church is a problem, but the dominee at the church would always ask if I could help him with chores in the room behind the church. And being the good boy I was I would just go help him. My mom dad and Logan would go home and I would help the dominee after church. I had helped him for about a half  year but one day...

Jakes voice broke.

E: it's okay, take it easy
J: okay.. uhm.. so one day he asked me to help him again. While I was sweeping the floor he came up to me and laid his hand on my butt.. I was a little kid and didn't really know how to react. I thought it would be okay because, he was a man.. why would he do something to a boy... man I was wrong. He told me to put the broom away and he took my hand. He walked me to a staircase. I knew it led to the basement. I followed him. When I entered the basement  I saw a bed... I thought it was weird. He sat me down on the bed and told me to take my clothes of.. I was a little kid, not knowing what to do.. so I took my clothes of.. I think you can picture the rest... He sexually abused me for about... 3 years. I didn't say anything to my parents about it because he let me think it was normal what he did to me. One time when he was done, he told me to stand up.. he started beating me up.. He left me when he thought I was dead.. But I wasn't, I was close though. I crawled outside where a lady saw me. She helped me and called 911... The police searched for the dominee but found out that he comitted suicide. After my recovery we moved to Ohio... I had go to  a therapist for 6 years, after 6 years I finally could kiss someone without feeling the pain.. 3 years later I met Alissa, I was head over heals with her. She was the first girl I ever had... After a while she started using me, I didn't break up with her because I was afraid I could never find somebody who loved me..
E: I..Jake.. I don't know what to say..

I looked at him in shock.. He looked so sad and upset. I grabbed his face with both hands, making him look in my eyes.

E: you have to know I will never use you okay, I will always love you..

I teared up. He whiped the tears from my face. He leaned in and kissed me.

J: I love you Erika Costell...