At first I was still denying it. But when all the puzzle pieces started to fall into place, I was forced to look in the eye of my worst enemy: the truth.
I first felt something was off a couple of months ago. Corbyn and I had been together for about a year and were still madly in love. Or at least I was. He had been on tour for a couple of weeks and when he came back, he didn't seem as excited to see me as I was to see him. I shrugged it off and told myself he was just tired. I should've known better back then, but I was blind. Blindly in love.
In the first couple of days he was back, I barely heard from him. "He's probably just exhausted" I kept telling myself. He'd send me short texts and only one 'x' instead of three, and when I asked to meet up, he'd simply dodge the question. A week after we had last seen each other he finally suggested to meet himself, something that would normally not even take him a day. I first thought he was going to break up with me, but when everything went back to normal on that date, I stopped worrying. What a stupid thing to do.
Even though we had a lot of fun that day, there was something about him that just wasn't the same. His hugs weren't as long anymore, his kisses not as soft. He didn't touch me anymore like he used to, as if he was afraid to do wrong. I should've seen the signs, but I was too madly in love to notice.
It wasn't until a couple of days ago that I started to become suspicious. We were at my place watching a movie, when he all of a sudden got a phone call. He ran out of my bedroom to take it, and curious as I was, I followed him on my tiptoes. "I told you not to call me" he said. Although the undertone in his voice was rather annoyed, I couldn't help but worry. That was when I realized that something was indeed wrong, but I waved it away. He would never do that... Yeah right. All I did that day was go sit back on my bed and pretend like I was there all the time. He had no clue I overheard him.
The first thing my best friend said when I told her was "He's cheating on you" in those exact words. Stupid as I was, I denied it. "I'm 100% positive about it, Y/N. Corbyn isn't loyal, and I'm going to prove it." She didn't lie. She started searching and found what she was looking for.
And now... now I'm sitting here in a chair in Corbyn's living room, waiting for him to come home. On the screen of my laptop shine four pictures of him kissing, hugging and leaving a hotel with another girl in his arms. They had been all over Twitter, Facebook, Instagram,... you name it. But this girl had been too blind to see. I couldn't help but blink away a tear that had been flirting with the corner of my eye.
A key turns in the lock of his front door. Guitar in his hand, he walks in, surprised to see me sitting in his favourite armchair.
"Hey, baby, what are you doing here?" He has a soft smile on his lips. I'd almost believe he was happy to see me.
"How long has this been going on for?" I say as I turn the laptop and put it on the coffee table in front of me, the screen now facing Corbyn. The smile on his lips quickly fades and he swallows.
"That's not me." He tries.
"Oh cut it, Corbyn! That is obviously you, you practically look into the camera!" He jumps to my sudden outburst. I am no longer able to hold my tears back. "When were you planning on telling me?" My voice cracks as I speak the last few words.
"Y/N, babe, I swear..." He tries grabbing my hand, but I quickly pull it away.
"What, Corbyn?! That it was just an accident? That your lips accidentally crashed onto hers?" It is silent for a moment. "You should've just told me, Corbyn. That you were tired of me, that you'd rather be with someone else than me. I would've accepted it. It would've hurt, but far less than this. I can't believe you did this to me. I actually can't believe that I thought you loved me." The tears are floating over my cheeks and I let out a loud sob.
"I do, Y/N, I do love you..."
"Bullshit! You don't go mess around with someone else behind the back of someone you love. You just don't. I'm done with you. I'm done." I said as I rip off the necklace that he gave me right before he left on tour, a small heart with his initials carved in it. "Here, give it to your new girl."
"Y/N, please, don't go."
"Shut up. You've done enough. Should've thought twice before you cheated on me." I walk past him and make my way to the door, until his hand grabs my wrist firmly, making it impossible for me to leave.
"Please, give me a chance to explain." His voice cracks, just like mine did a few minutes before. I turn around to face him, only now noticing the tears in his eyes. Was he actually showing regret?
"Okay, I admit. Yes, I cheated on you. But I swear, I never meant to. It was just..." He sighs deeply, swallowing away more tears. "She was there and you weren't. I hadn't seen you in two weeks and I just missed you so much. We went from being together every day to not being together at all, and I was having trouble adjusting to that. Our show that night didn't go very well and I couldn't reach you. I really needed the affection and she was there and you weren't. And I know damn well that what I did was extremely wrong and I swear to God, it will never happen again. I have been feeling guilty ever since and I'm not proud of myself. I don't even know why I did it, I don't even know who I am anymore. The guy you see right there on those pictures is not the Corbyn you have known all this time. I regret everything that happened that night, everything. That is also the reason why I haven't been hugging you so tight anymore or kissing you so passionate. I just couldn't because I felt guilty and disgusted by myself. You're such a wonderful girl and don't deserve to be treated like that. I never meant to hurt you and I don't want to lose you either. You're the only one I love and that will never change. Can you please forgive me?"
I am speechless after hearing those words, letting every bit sink in. He does regret what he did. I can tell by staring into those eyes. Regret and guilt are there to read and the tears rolling over his cheeks make these feelings even stronger. I'm hurt, yet believe him, somehow still carrying some doubts.
"Then why does she still call you? I overheard you on the phone the other day."
"I specifically told her when the night came to an end that she should never call me. I don't even know how she got my number. Somehow she found it and she kept calling me, but that is over, as from today. I got a new number this morning. I never want to hear or see her again, because she means absolutely nothing to me. You're the only one for me, Y/N." Corbyn explained
And those last few words make me crash into his arms. I feel his strong arms warming me in an embrace and for the first time in weeks it feels like the old Corbyn again. For the first time in weeks I feel like we are back in the days before he went on tour. Yes, he has cheated on me, but he truly regrets it. I don't know for sure if I will ever be able to fully trust him again, but what I do know, was that I forgive him.
