|Self-Conclusion|Justin Bieber|Dear Aiden Sequel|

|Self-Conclusion|Justin Bieber|15|

I’ve been on plenty of plane rides. The only difference is that I’m used to being surrounded by other people. It was just Justin, Pattie, Kenny and I in this really nice plane. It was serene, not screaming babies and room to move around. I always get nervous before a plane takes off and Justin noticed that I tensed up and teased me about it. I let it roll off my shoulders, trying not to show that my resentment for him and suddenly subsided. I wasn’t going to let him off the hook so easily.

I got a spark of inspiration just as we were leaving the hotel and made a quick decision to ask Justin if there was any way that I could get a guitar to use. I thought I was going to have to switch the strings around because Justin’s a lefty, but somehow he managed to get a guitar that was normal. I sat on this couch with a notepad, the guitar, and a pen. I plucked the strings, trying to make the perfect sound. I’d written the lyrics, already having a majority of them in my mind. When I think of lyrics, they just keep coming.

Justin leaned over to look at the notepad curiously and I covered it with my hand, shoving him away. He scoffed, pretending to be offended.

“What, is it a secret?” He said in a mocking tone.

“No, it’s just not done,” I said, lying. This song was about him, thought he might not even pick up on that fact even if he read the lyrics.

“So? I can help you finish it. If you’ve forgotten, I am an accomplished musician,” he said, putting his hand on his chest as if he were in a political argument.

“No, this is just one of those songs that is coming from something emotional, you wouldn’t be able to have the same feel for it,” I said, still plucking at the strings, feeling like I may have found the perfect chord pattern.

“Oooh, I see, I guess you have a point,” he said, “but you have to promise me that I’ll be able to hear it when you’re done.”

I rolled my eyes, not agreeing or disagreeing and went about adding the rhythm and humming the lyrics. Then, without really even thinking about it, I looked over at him, “We’ll write a song together sometime soon, kay?”

He drew his attention away from the Chex Mix he was shoveling into his mouth, “M’kay.”

I flashed a slight smile and again continued what I was doing. I hummed and plucked the strings on the guitar, closing my eyes and trying to get a real feel for the song. Then, it hit me. This song would never be perfect without a second voice. It needs to be a duet, I thought to myself. I thought for a second and then set the guitar down.

The lyrics were filled with the emotion of a strained relationship. It needed that second voice, the call back of the second voice to add the effect that I had imagined. I guess Justin would never hear this song. I wouldn’t want him to hear an incomplete project. I sighed, frustrated that my work went to waste. I’ll keep the song in my notebook, but I doubt it will ever be played again.

I watched the big city pass underneath us as we drew close to the Dallas/Fort Worth airport. We landed and as we exited the plane, the humidity wrapped itself around me as if Texas was giving me a warm hug of welcome. We immediately got into a van that was parked on the runway.

“Where are we staying?” I asked curiously.

“The same place we stayed last time,” he answered in a nonchalant tone.

I looked down and as we drove through the city, memories and images of the events that took place flashed through my mind like a home movie. Then the memories of the fire hit me and I took in a deep breath, which would have been a gasp had I not caught myself in it. Justin looked over at me with a concerned stare.

“I’m fine,” I said in a half-whisper, lying. I’d been having these flashbacks for quite some time and now that I’m back where it all happened it was like I was being surrounded by a thick cloud of fear and insecurity. Even though I knew Robert couldn’t get to me to hurt me. I felt sick to my stomach.

Somehow it was like Justin knew that I’d lied. Knew that I wasn’t alright and that, inside, I was a wreck. If the person I am on the inside was displayed on the outside, I would be in ratted clothing, covered in dirt and blood from beating myself up, and my hair would be in a nappy rats nest from neglect and apathy. I would be frantic in my speech, unable to make sense to anyone nor would I be capable of comprehending anything. Crazy house for Aiden.

Justin reached over and put his hand on mine and I looked over at him.

“You know that if you need anything, need to say anything, I’m here to listen. I’m not going to get upset or angry with you,” he said.

“It’s nothing like that, Justin,” I said, “it’s something that I’m dealing with within myself. It’s something I just have to deal with on my own.”

“You say that, but you don’t have to deal with it on your own. You don’t have to do anything alone,” he said and an image of Gator popped into my mind. Gator was always there for me when I needed him. Maybe I would get to see him while we were here.

We pulled into the parking garage of the hotel. I pulled my suitcase out of the back of the van and pulled it behind me as we walked. Kenny stood close to us and I anticipated the chaos I was sure was behind the elevator doors as we descended. The elevator beeped when we reached the bottom and the heavy metal doors screeched open. I could already see the crowd of people in the large waiting room. I grasped a handful of the sleeve on Justin’s hoodie and put my head down. Kenny led us through the room, to the other elevator that took us up to the room. It seemed like it took an eternity for it to reach the ground floor and we stepped in.

The suite smelled just how I’d remembered it. It looked the same as I’d always remembered. It was only seven in the evening and I was already beat. I immediately belly flopped onto the massive bed in the bedroom and closed my eyes. It felt good to be somewhere familiar. An image of waking up next to Justin popped up in my mind and I hid a blush.

Justin sat down next to me, “I have a surprise for you, A.”

I lifted my head, squinting at him as the light was shining in my eyes, “I hate being surprised.”

“Too bad,” he said, “and…you’ll have to wait until tomorrow night to get it.”

I scowled at him, “you couldn’t have waited until at least tomorrow morning to tell me? You had to tell me now, so that I could sleep on it?”

“Yep,” he said with a goofy grin.

My stomach growled loudly and I blushed, embarrassed.

“I’m a little hungry too, I’ll order room service,” he said and got up, walking out into the living room.