A Necessary Struggle: Spring Semester

Chapter 27: The Art of the Spiral

Alyssa's lips were pressed into a thin line as she sat in the chair staring at the neatly stacked files littering Detective Jensen's desk. He hadn't spoken a word since he intercepted the uniformed officers as the started to fingerprint her. She dug her back in the chair and stroked her hand up her goosebumped arm—her flimsy shirt wasn't enough for the cold A/C.

Detective Jensen pushed himself off the wall and yanked his dark blue bomber jacket off his desk chair, "Here." He tossed it to Alyssa. She caught it but held it like it was a dime bag and he was trying to set her up. "Put it on before you get hyperthermic."

"Its not cold enough to get hyperthermia but..." She quickly pushed her arms in the sleeves and wrapped the oversize jacket around her petite frame. "Thanks."

"What is wrong with you?" He asked with copper eyes that pierced the frigid skin of her face. "No..." He held up his hand to stop her mouth from opening even though she didn't pull her lips apart. "What the hell were you thinking? Or were you not thinking at all?"

Alyssa dropped her face in her hands taking a deep breath to alleviate the stress that formed knots in her shoulder muscles. She pulled the scent off the fabric of his sleeves—patchouli and vanilla. "You don't smell like him." She lifted her face out her palms taking in Detective Jensen's dumbfounded expression. "I was in the psychology class and I remember the professor saying that smell is a big trigger for memories calling to the mind past experiences like your favorite song."

"His cologne triggered you." Detective Jensen folded his arms expanding the width of his muscled chest underneath the black dress shirt. "Set you off."

"I smelled him before I saw him and when I saw him..." Alyssa brushed the strands of hair to short to be pulled back in her ponytail out of her face—her blushed cheeks burned as she tried to hold back her tears. "I was back on that hospital floor...with him on top of me." She gasped in an audible breath as her eyes swelled. "I didn't want it to happen again so I-I hit him...and..." She swallowed hard. "I hoped..." She lowered her breath looked down at her lap. "I hoped he was dead."

"I'm a cop." Detective Jensen's black eyebrows furrowed rigidly. "So, please I hope you're not admitting to attempted murder."

"I'm not." Alyssa shook her head pulling her mind out of the clouds, "I'm not."

Detective Jensen pointed his hand at her, "Let me tell you what happened...your attacker came in your house and you lost it which is understandable but—"

"But what?" Her head tilted as she waited for his explanation.

He stepped closer to his desk. "First, you were self-destructing and now you're angry. You are a ticking bomb waiting to explode." He rubbed his after-five stubble. "You're spiraling. You're acting like you're facing your problems but you're not. You're burying it...still faking."

"I'm not faking." She sternly pointed at her chest. "I'm coping."

"Coping." He raised his chin with disbelief harbored in his eyes. "You're coping." She nodded in agreement. "Then tell me how many times have you been to counseling this year...therapy."

"I don't need to talk to someone about my problems." Alyssa sneered leaning back against the chair. "Whine about my issues and..." She fanned her hand out, "And why do you care."

"I care because...." He looked past her and at the blinds that showed the desks littering the bullpen. "Because it is my job to get justice, put away criminals and because..." He planted his hands on the desk dropping his head. "I've been through this before...with someone close to me and I know what can happen if-if you're aren't coping."

Alyssa scrapped her teeth over her bottom lip then stood up slowly. "I'm not going to kill myself." She shrugged out of his jacket. "So...if you don't mean I'd like to go take my mug shot, now."

"The trail is next month." He boldly gazed at her. "Have you made a decision to testify, yet?"

Alyssa swung open the door, "When I have...you'll be the first to know." 

Is Alyssa spiraling?

Is Detective Jensen too close to Alyssa case? Or does he have a right to be concerned?