Faltering Smiles.

Night Three.

Sodapop's POV

Dallas stares at me with a confused look in his eyes and then he huffs and pushes away the game board. He stands up and says he's done playing, that we should head to lunch. So we do. We eat and we don't talk and we sit alone like every other meal. People try to talk to me because I look less harmful and easy to mess with, but I don't talk back and they usually turn and run when Dal glares their way. I'm happy to have him here with me. This would be terrifying alone. I could never get through this alone. When lunch is over we head out to the yard together. Today we walk around and don't speak. He looks like he wants to talk, like he has something important to say, but won't speak up. It's an awkward silence that I really don't enjoy but I deal with it because I don't mind him thinking his words over. I don't mind him taking his time if it means he's going to open up at all. I love finding out new things about him.

"Soda... Do you know what happens when you're fifteen years old in jail?"

"No..I don't."

"Bad shit happens Soda. Bad stuff happens because there is no one around to protect you."

"I'm sorry."

"For what-?"

"For bad things happening to you."

"Shut up. That's not the point. You wanted to know what's going on and I'm gonna tell you. But if you ever tell another soul I swear this friendship is over. I will never see you again. I will move from Tulsa and disappear. You understand me?"

"I understand Dal. I won't tell anyone. I promise to never repeat a word of it. Trust me.. please?"

"There you go again... Alright anyways. When you're 15 in jail, you're the youngest. I was young and crazy and when people told me what to do, I mouthed off. I talked smack to the wrong people at the wrong time. Because of that I owed a 'dept' for the trouble I caused. That dept is paid with me. It's paid with my body. The guards don't care and neither do the other prisoners. If I made a fuss about it it would only piss people off and I'd probably have more than just Sarge taking away my dignity. So I deal with it. That's the short story and that's the only version you're getting."

"I'm sorry Dal..."

"Don't be sorry."

Dallas' POV

There he goes again, apologizing for stuff that has nothing to do with him. He's got a sad look in his eyes and he walks with his head down while playing with his sleeves. Hes uncomfortable and uneasy and he doesn't look like he's feeling very well. I hate when he gets this way. I hate it even more when I'm the reason. I hate it because he doesn't deserve to feel that kind of pain or sadness or anything. Soda never hurt no one. I have. I deserve pain even if I don't like it. I deserve a lot of shit I don't like. I deserve to be cheated on and lied to and fucked with and fucked in general. I deserve it because I've done shit to other people that would be deemed much worse at one time or another. I'm not proud to be that type of person despite what most people would tell you. I'm not proud that I've treated people like shit. I go along and run with what I've done because there's no changing the past and some things you just can't apologize for. I go with it because I know no one would understand. No one gets me. Maybe Soda... But Soda understands everyone. He sympathizes with everyone and anyone and that's why he's hurt so easily. He cares too much. I did dumb shit, cared to much, and let it destroy me. Eventually I stopped caring. Or at least I stopped showing that I cared. When people know you care, they use it against you. When they know your weak spot, they'll hit it dead on. So I keep quiet with my feelings and my thoughts and everything and anything. I talk lots of smack and nothing truthful. The only truth slipping my lips is spoken when I'm with Soda, or sometimes Ponyboy and Johnny. They're young and they don't judge no one more than a glance. Neither of em would ever pipe off about me even if they did judge. Solid kids, those two are.

"I am. I'm sorry that happened..and is happening."

The bell sounds off and everyone slowly heads inside to the cafeteria. Im not hungry so I walk right through and to the cell block. Soda follows me like a lost puppy and I need to come to a complete stop before he stops as well.

"What?"

"You can go eat if you're hungry."

"I'm not."

"You sure?"

"Positive. I'm coming with you."

The look on his face is soft but serious. He walks passed me and heads for our cell. Once I'm inside, he closes the rails behind us and flops down on my bed. For a second I'm not sure what to make of his goofy grin or his shiny blue eyes. I cock an eyebrow at him and he chuckles softly. So softly it almost makes my stomach feel floaty. I smile back despite the confusion and cross my arms over my chest.

"What are you doing?"

He looks at me from down on my bunk with his crazy devilishly hot smirk and he tilts his head back exposing his neck a little. Slowly he unzips his jumper a tad and exposes his upper chest, while in the meantime spreading his legs a bit without losing eye contact. His crotch has a small bulge growing under his clothes that's becoming more visible and his cheeks are rosey.

"I wanna help make you feel better. Can we continue where we left off?"

My face flushes a hot shade of red and mixes with the shocked expression when my jaw drops. At first I'm not sure what to do, I'm not really used to this kind of thing from a guy. And especially not my buddy Soda. He doesn't even act like this around girls. But a moment is all it takes for me to plank myself over top of him and lock our lips like a safe. It's dark in our cell and no one is around because it's dinner so I don't really care. Hes much more timid than I am and he clutches the front of my shirt with one hand while stroking my hair with the other. He doesn't move much, maybe squirms a bit to get comfortable but that's it. I pin him down with one hand and stroke his jaw with the other, rocking my hips against his groin while shoving my tongue down his throat and sucking on his neck to give him the chance to catch his breath. He makes such odd but soft noises that I've never heard before. I kind of love it.

"Soda..."

"Y-yeah..?"

"Can I fuck you?"

"I...I don't know..I've never..."

"I'll be gentle."

"I don't know Dal..."

"I promise I'll be careful."

"Gentle?"

"As gentle as you need it."

"Okay..."

And then I undressed him and threw the covers up over us.