Jaspar One Shots

No.8 Emergency Exit

A/N: I thought of this while sitting on a bus and looking around and my eyes landed on the emergency exit sign and this popped in my head. P.S. It's a long one. P.S.S. There is a really, super long dialogue, but please try to read it all? It's 7 paragraphs long. I'll do my best to keep it interesting.

Summary: Joe is suicidal depressed. The only person keeping him alive is his best friend Caspar. But will that be enough? Side note: It's written in Joe's POV, but it's like he's telling a story.

Warnings: Suicidal thoughts, suicidal actions. Nothing graphic.

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Joe's POV

"How are you feeling today Joe?" Caspar asked. Caspar always asks this question. First thing he says to me when I see him at school. No 'Hey Joe, what up?' or 'Did you complete your homework?' like everyone else says to their friends. I'm lucky to have a best friend who constantly makes sure I'm okay. Do your friends ask you how you're feeling?

"Uh, Joe? How are you feeling today?" Caspar asked again, a bit more worried this time. I guess I was caught up in my thoughts again. I always seem to be thinking. I don't know why. I'll think of something, then think of something else. I never stay on the same thought for long. 

"Joe! How are you feeling today?!" Caspar practically yelled. This time I snapped out of my thoughts.

"I'm feeling empty," I responded. Caspar sighed. I instantly felt bad for making Caspar sad. Caspar hates it when I don't feel happy. It's not his fault, it's mine. Why don't you kill yourself already? Your sadness is affecting the one you cherish and love. Why can't you be happy?

"Why are you feeling empty?" Caspar asked. See, the thing with Caspar is that he just doesn't leave it at that. It doesn't matter what answer I say, he always goes more in depth. He knows that if he doesn't ask more questions, he can't cheer me up. 

I remember when the first time he asked me this, I lied to him. I told him I was happy. He asked why. I said why not. He asked why again. I told him because today was the day I was going to kill myself. All he did was hug me. No words were spoken, but that's all that I needed. That was the beginning of our friendship.

"Joe, why are you feeling empty?" Caspar asked again. See what I mean? I always get lost in thought. 

"I'm feeling empty because I'm thinking. I keep getting lost in thought and space out," I replied. Caspar opened his mouth to say something but the bell rang.

"Okay. Let's get to class now, yeah?" Caspar asked, but really commanded. He took me by the hand and led me to my locker. I was so fortunate to have my locker by his. 

"Hey look, it's the gay freaks! I'm surprised they haven't killed themselves yet. What a waste of space," Dylan, our worst bully, chided.

"Shut up, Dylan. There is nothing wrong with being gay," Caspar seethed.

"Ew, he's speaking to me! The fag is speaking to me!" Dylan shrieked with a disgusting face.

"Why do you always have to bully us?" Caspar questioned. 

"Hey, you two brought this upon yourselves. Maybe if you weren't gay a** motherf*ckers you wouldn't be judged," Dylan sneered, then stalked away.

Caspar immediately turned towards me. "Hear the words he says, but don't listen to them." I don't know why, but that always makes me feel better. It makes me feel stronger. Although right now I'm torn between attacking Dylan and attacking myself. Why am I like this?

*ring* 

"Oh sh*t, that was the bell. We got to go. Come on, Joe," Caspar said. 

We were a few minutes late, but the teacher didn't mind. We sat down in our spots and the teacher resumed teaching. Caspar and I don't sit next to each other in this class because we have assigned seats.