Journal- Transgender

26

Hey people! I'm sick again so that's fun. It's not too bad it just a bad sore throat but ugh.

I guess lets just go into the thick of my issues right now and save the happy fluffy stuff for later. I really hate myself right now. I'm looking at my friends, my four good friends, and I can't see why I'm needed. Everyone has their best friend and I'm just a member of the group that isn't needed. I used to be a couple of people's best friends but there's people better than me now I guess. One of my friends draws really well so she's our artist. We all draw and I'm second best but second best is nothing to write home about. I guess I can run but what good is that.

Another thing is that one of the members of my friend group texted me. She likes me. Oh shit.

Well I like her too but I have a feeling whenever someone says that it's just a cruel joke. We haven't done anything, like we're not dating or anything but I don't even know if she wants to at this point. She told me a little over a week ago.

Last girlfriend I had, if you guys remember broke up with me about three months ago. God I miss her but I don't know what I should do. Im pretty sure she's still interested in me because when someone asked for my number and I gave it to them (non flirty I may add) she overheard the person talking about it. She basically confronted me over text and asked if I was dating that person. I wasn't.

So this is new for me. No one likes me. But now I have three people who like me and I don't know what to do. Sorry for the weird rant.

Anyways my disphoria is a bitch at the moment. I'm going to a water park with family which means swim shirt that barely hides my chest time! One funny thing is that with the clothes I wear when swimming you can see when people see your chest and have like a complex if some sort. They always apologize like a million times that part can be semi anoying.

I also, instead of sleeping I made some digital art. Comment if you guys want to see it though I'll probably post in anyways. It's taz fanart. With taako. (Taz, short for The adventure zone is a dnd podcast. It's good watch it.)

Well, I'm leaving in about half an hour to start driving there so I'll give you all updates on the way. Have a great day everyone and I believe in you!

-Simon