Journal- Transgender

28

Hello. Yesterday was. Wonderful. I got called a couple of things. That's fun. Also there's this guy that likes to run by me at lunch and shout "Transgenders!" It really super fun.

So that's uh. A nice boost to my self esteem. Not to mention that I feel super bad about my art now too because I just look at everything one of my friends has created and they are just freaking Picasso in the making. And I'm just trash. I started drawing in second grade because I wanted to be as good as them. That's not why I draw anymore but I just. I'm not a good person.

I've been too nervous to wear colorful clothes that I like and I've just been wearing jeans and fun tees that I still like, but I can't seem to get the "perfect outfit". I just feel like every day is boring. And everyone is better than me. I'm just the consolation prize friend that doesn't really need to be there. The rest of my friends. They make sense.

I'm okay at drawing. Maybe ever good. Same with the uke, video games, singing, running, math, language arts, science, and many more. I'm just average at a lot of things and I'm not "excellent" at any of them.

Damn I feel like I felt when I was trying to figure out who I was a bit before I started this book/story/thing. I really don't like myself right now but I need to focus on the good parts. I was in honors choir. That must mean I'm at least okay at singing. I was on the fast team in cross country, I was in the art show. I am okay. I am okay.

I sorry for ranting AGAIN. But I dont know it might help or something. I'm wearing what I want today and that includes my fabulous green pants. I'm wearing my favorite sweater. It's fancy and pretty nice looking so I'm excited. Well as excited as someone gets about a sweater. I'm going to style my hair today, so it's not a half wet heap on my head the entire day. Or at least until it dries in second period.

We'll have a good day everyone. Let's make the most of it at the very least. And try to go outside today, drink a glass of water. Lets do this.

-Simon