My life and stuff

Chapter 27

HUmmmmmm I have two tests today someone kill me

Math: the test wasn't too bad only some questions tripped me

English : For some reason we're doing some project about Greek gods but we got a sub today and my best friend got candy that in stealing mwa hahahaha

Study hall; so I took the history test and got an 88 not bad still just two more points!

Health: We're learning about eating disorders. This reminds me of when I was really depressed and tried to stay under 400-600 calories a day with exercise and the absolute most I would allow was 800. I skipped lunch and sometimes dinner. I used a calorie counting app and spent half an hour a day counting and putting the data in, I memorized nutrition labels and always counted. But now I'm better. Sometimes I don't eat much lunch, and my dad is always pestering me to eat more, but I know I eat enough. I'm joining track soon so I'm really excited. But that also means I actually have to eat.

Lunch: I waaaannttt to die. For real. I'm not going to actively search for death, but I won't deny it if I have the opportunity. Idk, does that make any sense? Yeah, so all my friends left, one by one today. I felt so awkward. I went to the bathroom to try and calm down but that didn't work, I ended up crying. Just like last year, I feel myself going backwards, not forwards! I didn't eat lunch today, well actually I ate grapes and some enchilada, I was too shy to eat more. Idk why, I hate eating in front of new people.

Biology: We had notes, lots and lots of notes. Our teacher is cool and she lets us have a little five minute break for phones in class. I had mine out and this one loud, egotistic, rude, annoying kid asked wouldn't stop bothering me.  I defended myself with humor and sarcasm. At this point I was full on panicking and ready to pass out. But I kept myself together since I knew that wouldn't help at all. He said oh never mind I won't tell anyone about you being sarcastic.  I know he's a bitch ass liar. Horton hears a lying bitch.

I AM FREEEEEEEEEEEE. AND TAKING ANOTHER NAP. 

My mom is home and for some reason I just want to hug her and cry. We talked for the rest of the night and my dad doesn't like me having panic attacks when I am so young. He said he might take me to a doctor. My mom is thinking of getting me a self help book. So I guess things are taking a turn in a good direction for once. Good night ya'll, it's been a long day.