Dear Diary

Part 26 - Major Update on Life

10-10-17 through 11-21-17

(I wrote at this part several times this past month so its not all written at one time)

So there's a lot for this part.

About two weeks ago, there was a senior College application day. I applied to Northark and ASUMH. A couple days later there was a college tour to Northark. I went on it and I saw everything but the medical wing but that's because I missed that tour. Northark is real pretty and I like it. The only thing that I regretted that day was going on the agriculture tour.

I respect the field and the people In it, but oh my dear God it was sooooo boring

Me and a couple others walked in and immediately I got so bored. It was so hard to not act on it because respect is a thing that exists.

Hey at least I know I wouldn't be going into agriculture

But a couple days AFTER the tours at the college, I get a letter in the mail from Northark

Guys

I GOT ACCEPTED INTO NORTHARK

HELL FUCKING YEAH

Ok next thing

Homecoming was just two weeks ago. Our theme was Tiki Takeover. Of course because it was Spirit Week, everyday was something different.

Monday was Under The Sea. I wore those weird jogging pants things that are skin tight and is made up of that exercise material. On the side of those were blue strips going all the way down. I then wore a blue long sleeve shirt that matched my pants. And then I grabbed like four or five blue bead necklaces and made a belt thing with them. And then I put on a gigantic shark head that I own.

No joke

I was a shark for Monday

Tuesday was Tacky Tourist Day. I wore a black long sleeved shirt, khaki colored capris​, my white and black flip flops, and I took my dad's white and black Hawaiian shirt. It's black with white flowers on it. I then took mom's white hat. I also grabbed sunglasses and one of my teachers let me have some of this white paint for my nose.

Wednesday was Teen Beach Movie: Surfers vs Bikers. I wore my grey tank top that has a black skull design with the words Harley Davidson surrounding it. My black skinny jeans, my black leather boots, and I borrowed a family friends leather jacket. Unfortunately he smokes a lot and so his jacket smelled like cigarettes​. I am surrounded by smokers so I couldn't smell the smoke but several people commented on the smell of cigarettes near them a couple times throughout the day.

Thursday was Twinkie Day. Basically you become "twins" with someone. I dressed up in my band uniform for that day with Gabby. We had on our red bib pants, white marching shoes, our marching jackets, and our hays on all day.

Guys you have no idea what it is like to wear that all day. It's horrible

And then Friday was Red and White Friday. Because I am in band, I had to wear my band shirt, blue jeans, and I wore my red converse with it like I always do.

During the homecoming game on Friday, one of my co-workers texted me and said I was supposed to be working that night.

Whoops

So that day I was a No Call No Show. It wasn't my fault in the end. Apparently Lisa, one of my bosses forgot to out the updated schedule out. But I now work Friday afternoons​and Sunday​ brunches

Oh I'm not sure if I said this before but in case I didn't I got a job! If I did well too bad your seeing it again

But I applied for the bowling ally and then one day they needed someone to bus tables at the restaurant for a day  and the restaurant never gave me back to the bowling ally. I've been bussing at the restaurant for a while now.

Which reminds me, it's Thanksgiving week and I work the lunch shift for four days

Over Thanksgiving

It looks like I will be earning some huge tips this week

I also started my own bank account. I am now one more step to being a full adult. Now my last step is to get my driver's license. I have my permit but not my license.

Now onto a more emotional part.

Dad has been trying to push me to join the military. My mom came to me last week and asked if i thought about joining the national guard or something like that and I replied that I didn't want to join. After a few minutes she drops it and doesn't bother me about it again. The other day dad asks me if i thought about it and i tell him that mom has already beaten him to that conversation and that I am not joining.

He asks why

I dont want to. There is no other reason than I don't want to. There are somethings in this world that just dont appeal to you whatsoever. The military is one of those things. So I tell dad this. He then spends the next hour trying to convince me saying I could do this awesome cool thing and that I could go here and here and that I wouldn't have to pay for it. He said they paid for my college and that if I wanted I could fly drones and just because I join the military, doesn't mean I will see combat. 

I know this. I spent about a good six months talking with an air force recruiter. For a while it did appeal to me but it disappeared quickly. Pretty much the only reason why I even took notice of the air force was because my college would be paid for and even then it was still a meh feeling for me.

I think one of the reasons why dad was pushing so hard for it was because 

he wanted to join the military but he couldn't because of his health problems like seizures and with how bad his shoulder is, he wouldn't have passed any sort of test.

I want to become a band teacher, and if not music then history or English. Dad got to the point where he said that because of Americas economy today, there wouldn't be any band or sports left in high schools anymore. he said that when he was a teenager in high school, they had Home EC classes and typing class. Well we dont need typing class today because of how much we are on technology today and how much of today's economy relies on technology. He said that band, sports, and art would be next and that i should think about becoming something else. 

He then kept on getting really pissed because I was giving him attitude when all I was doing was just standing there, not saying a fucking word, and trying not to cry at some of the shit he was saying to me. 

He got so pissed that he even threatened to kick me out when I graduated and that if I kept on giving attitude, then he would beat me.

This was last week.

The other day he came up to me again and started this all over again, but this time he was saying that the military has separate bands and that the air force band was apparently the best one because they are usually the ones to play for people like the president (like I would play for Trump) and high ranking political people all around the world. He was trying to play the music card on me to get me to join.

Mike, a family friend who has been staying with us for a while is thankfully on my side. He laid out all the facts about the military, about all the stuff I would automatically get just for joining the military, but he never said it in a way like dad was and he also told me that the military was not for everyone. He even stepped in when me and dad were arguing when he thought that dad was about to kick me out. I asked Mike last week that if I truly were to get kicked out if he would get an apartment with me so that way I have someplace to go, he doesn't intrude on my family too much, and to have an adult watch over me and keep me on track in life. He said he would help me.

Dad has been trying to force something i do not want on me and I dont fucking like it. I told him that the last time and after the other day he hasn't brought it up again thank god but im not sure he wont keep bringing it up.

Guys, i dont know what to do. What do you think I should do?

- Sam