The Pull | Jax Teller

Widening Gyre

Jax found himself alone when he woke up in the bedroom.

As he went through the house, he found Delilah was already gone. Jax felt immediate guilt for even throwing the words he did last night. He didn't blame Delilah. He knew that she was stuck in an impossible situation.

But then again maybe deep down he did blame her like she blamed him. They both shared guilt for not keeping their son safe. Yet, he knew both of their words had exposed this schism between them. It's something he wasn't even sure Abel being back can fix. Jax ran his hands through his stringy and greasy hair. He cringed as he knew the reason his hair and beard were even this long was because of straight neglect. Besides, it wasn't as if Delilah was exactly complaining.

He sighed as he stepped into the shower and washed away what happened between them last night. They shouldn't have done that. He thought that made everything a little muddier. Fucking instead of talking was going to hurt them down the line.

He pressed his lips together as he wondered how in the hell he was going to be able to fix the mess he was in with her. He couldn't exactly send chocolates and flowers to make up for him being an asshole.

Jax knew he had some serious groveling to do. He wasn't too sure when this groveling would get done considering a prison sentence looming over his head. And in an instant, his mind went haywire as he thought about all the risks he and the club were taking in trying to reduce their prison time.

Stahl was a smart vindictive bitch and he knew that she would somehow screw him over. All the guys knew it too. And instead of trying to enjoy his last few days of freedom, the best he could, he was driving a wedge between him and Delilah.

A knock came from the front door and Jax immediately went on defense. He didn't bother with his shirt as he grabbed his gun. Checking the peephole, his shoulders sagged in relief as he opened the door.

"What the hell are you doing here this early?"

"Delilah called me. Told me to stop by," Opie replied as he strolled in and headed right into the kitchen. "You look like shit by the way."

Jax rolled his eyes as he closed the front door.

"So what did you do to piss off Del?" Opie asked as he rummaged through the fridge.

"Shit that I don't necessarily want to repeat."

"Must have been bad then," Opie surmised as he grabbed an apple and then proceeded to start making some coffee. "You want to talk about it?"

"Not really," he stated bluntly to his friend.

Opie didn't press unlike how Lip did. Besides, he was pretty sure Lip had already voiced his concerns to Opie. Delilah seemed to even know that putting Lip between the two of them might make things worse.

"Just think about what you're doing Jax. Think about what you want. Delilah probably knows what you're doing, but she's not one to lie and take it. If you are going to force something on her, you better be able to deal with the consequences." Opie cautioned him.

"She's pregnant," Jax let slip past his lips. His eyes trailed to the crime scene, which was his kitchen. His eyes found the spot where Half-Sack bled out and where Abel was taken.

"You're serious," Opie asked in disbelief.

Jax nodded his head and he could feel tears brimming in his eyes. For the first time, he allowed himself to think that they maybe won't be able to get Abel. He knew Clay had concerns about loyalty with Belfast and things were sketchy already as he knew Jimmy had lied about his son being there. And now he was bringing another child into this. Another child that could be taken away. A child exposed to the violence of his life. And then there was Delilah bearing his children. She knew what kind of man he was and she had allowed him to get her pregnant again.