disconnected | r5 & selena gomez| rewritten version

7 // haters

The hate started again.

Ya wanna know why??

Maisie was back. The girl who kidnaped me. She has made false allegations of abuse about me under a fake alias and had mastered photoshop. So of course, she was believed as people who hated me took advantage of this.

it got worse and worse. I relapsed and hated myself so much. days went by and I didn't want to hold on. of course I hid it from everyone else. which was going well. but it killed me that I couldn't tell anyone. my progress had gone.

I was sitting in my room, tears streaming down my cheeks. then I heard a car. Rikers back! I went to my dressing table and put on some concealer and blended it in. I powdered and put on some mascara. I sprayed some setting spray on and heard Riker. "Babe I'm home!" He came home earlier nowadays. I went downstairs and as usual he picked me up and spun me round.

"I missed you" He mumbled into my neck as he set me down.
"Mmmm" I replied enjoying the moment of being in his arms.
"Wanna go out? The kids won't be back till about four o clock" he asks.
"Where?" I ask.
"The pool?" If we went there he'd see.
"Nah" I say.
"You love going to the pool!" He says to me, shocked.
"I don't feel like going" I say, sitting on the sofa.
"It's so hot in here" He took his hoodie off.
"It is?" I ask. It was. But I couldn't take off my sweatshirt.

"Yeah. Here, I'll get you a t shirt" he says to me.
"It's fine" I smile at him for being so sweet.
"Stay. Let's watch something" I turned the TV on and the news was on. They were showing a girl who committed suicide. I turned it off.
"Or maybe not" I say reluctantly.
"Are you feeling okay?" He asks me.
"Yeah. Are you?" I joke.
"Yes" he seemed rather suspicious.

"Emma please be honest with me" he says to me. "I'm fine" i insist, though tears were brimming in my eyes.
"Emma, don't" he looked me in the eye and I looked down at my bitten nails
"I'm fine!" Then I bursted into floods of tears. "Babe no don't cry!" He put an arm round and let me sob.

Why am I doing this?

I wiped my eyes and went upstairs. Of course he followed me. I shut the bathroom door and locked it behind me.
"Babe open up!" He banged on the door.
"Leave me alone for a bit please!" I cried.
"Babe please!" He begged.
"Go!" I exclaim, wiping my eyes.
"Emma please! I need to be there for you!" For god sake he's so nice. And he was so worried.

"Riker go away!" I'd opened the door and shouted at him.

I stepped back.
"I-I'm so sorry" tears spilled down my cheeks.
"Emma it's fine" he assured me.
"I-it's not" I shut the door and slid down it sobbing.

"Emma open the door" it was Courtney
I opened it and saw her and Rydel
"Are you okay?" They both group hugged me.
"I told him to go away" I whisper.
"Is that it? What the hell Emma!? You're So dramatic!" Courtney says.
"Yes that's it!" I wiped my eyes.
"Emma he isn't mad. You did raise your voice but you had no ill intentions" Rydel says.
"I shouldn't have gone that far" I whisper.
"Emma it's okay. It's over. I'm sure he's going to forgive you"

"I'll be right back" I went downstairs to find Riker. He was on the floor looking at photos of us.
"Hey" I say quietly.
"Hey gorgeous" He says, not looking up from the photo in front of him.

"Hey could we have some privacy maybe?" Riker asks the girls.
"Sure" they both left and shut the door.
"Emma remember when we broke up 10 years ago?" He asked me.
"Awful time...why did that happen...oh god..." i told him.
"emma dont. you're spiralling. okay? 10 years ago we were both people who we never wanted to be. we cant go back to that. okay?"

Our lips connected and it felt like the best thing ever. We pulled away and hugged each other.
"Let's get you to bed" he carried me upstairs and I fell asleep.

Bad idea as I woke up screaming an hour later.

I bursted out crying. I dreamt of my kidnapping. "Babe?" Riker came in and sat next to me. "It was only a dream okay?" He took hold of my hand. "I won't let anything happen to you".
I sniffled and nodded.
"Your really hot" He says, feeling my forehead. "Here" he helped me take off my sweatshirt.
"Wait!" It was already off. And he saw.

"What..." He saw the scars. He's going to hate me so much. "Babe no" he whispered tracing them gently. "It hurts" I whimper.
"Why didn't you tell me?" He looks at me.
"I was scared. I didn't know how you'd take it" I said honestly.
"Emma..." He looked so upset. He just got up and walked out of the room. He didnt know what to say.

What was wrong with me?