i hate you || n.jm

|| 6 ||

This was bad, so so bad.

What was bad, you may wonder.

Well, Eunju started hanging out with Hyuck - apparently they clicked pretty well, and I shouldn't get the feeling of wanting to punch the boy every time I see him because I have no reason to.

Though, Jeno almost did have to hold me back from tackling the mischievous, frisky boy when he got too close to Eunju - I really shouldn't be thinking like this, I didn't like her; I rejected her.

"Dude, stop staring." If it wasn't for Mark I would probably have stared at the table where our friend, whom had abandoned us, most likely because he was mad at us - or me, sat by the whole lunch break, and a small sigh escaped my lips.

"You know, I don't know what's going on in your head right now, but you've stabbed your lunch a few times." The youngest of us received a glare from me before I looked down to see that I, in fact, had plunged my fork many times into my salad, and I threw the fork onto the plate before pushing it away from me.

"I'm gonna go to class early." Then I was walking out of the cafeteria, ignoring their questions, and when I passed by Eunju's table I couldn't help but take note of the smile she wore - it suited her.

It suited her more than the frown she wore every time she laid her eyes on me - I despised it in a way.

As I sat down in my usual seat, I propped in my earbuds, hoping to get some rest before the next lesson, but I apparently wasn't the only one who went to class early because in walked Donghyuck and Eunju.

Trying my best not to make them notice, I turned down the volume - this was bad as well, eavesdropping.

"Where would you want to go on a first date." At Donghyuck's question something swelled up in my throat, and it took every muscle in my body to not start choking on my own spit.

Was he talking about him and Eunju?

Did one of my best friends like the girl, who had feelings for me, and whom I had rejected?

"I would like to go to a zoo, I love animals." Her cheery voice filled my ears, mixing with the music leaving my earbuds, and I glanced at the two sitting in the two seats behind me - or Eunju was sitting down and Hyuck was leaning against the table beside her.

"Noted." As that word left Donghyuck he looked over at me, getting eye contact with me for a split second, before I focused on the empty blackboard in front of me.

"I have something I have to ask you.." And the lump was back in my throat.

My leg bounced up and down as I waited rather impatiently for the boy to continue, I needed to know if he really was going to ask her out.

"Would you maybe-" It was like my legs moved on their own as I bolted out of the classroom, only managing to hear the same boy grumble out a 'what the hell is up with him?'

While running through the halls I managed to take a look at my watch - seven minutes until the break ended, and I sped up, accidentally bumping shoulders with a few other students who let out low grumbles and curses in return.

"Wha- I thought you wanted to go to class early tod-" Before Renjun could finish speaking, I spoke up quickly, keeping my voice down - or at least trying to as I explained to them what I had heard;

"Donghyuck just asked Eunju out."

The five blinked at me.

"Pardon?" Mark's eyebrows were furrowed, his head tilted to the side slightly, and in a matter of seconds the others had copied him, looking up at me, not believing what I just had said.

"Donghyuck just asked Eunju out." I repeated still keeping my voice only above a whisper, and a shaky chuckle left my best friend as he shook his head.

"We heard you the first time, but are you sure that's correct? I though he liked Sejeong?" The last part was more him thinking out loud, and I let out a sigh, my head dropping back at the same time my shoulders moved up in a shrug.

A groan like sigh left me again, and I sat down by the table again, even though there was only like three minutes or so before the bell rang.

"Do you think she'll say yes?" Just like Jeno right before, I had thought out loud, and a snort left the youngest, earning himself a light hit on the shoulder.

"You shouldn't care." Ignoring Chenle's words I repeated the question a bit louder than before, and for a few seconds none of them said anything - Renjun did speak up though, probably after realizing that no one else was gonna answer.

"I honestly don't know, I mean, on one side, she had sincere feelings for you which probably disappeared after you humiliated her though.." At the last part I placed my head on the table, but before I could say anything like I had wanted to do, Jeno continued;

"On the other side, they've been spending quite a lot of time together lately, like a lot." Yeah, they had been spending a lot of time together, and it was eating me alive.

A grumble left me as I slowly lifted my head, only to find the five guys' attention on me - Mark's eyes were wide as well.

"Dude, don't tell me you like her." At the oldest's words I would've probably choked if I was drinking anything, and my head moved from side to side faster than I intended it to.

"Eunju? No, no, not at all!"

Renjun squinted his eyes at me, his head moving up and down slowly, his eyes never leaving me.

"Sure." If it wasn't for the bell I would've probably strangled the boy, whose hair now was a weird yet nice shade of brown instead of his usual red, instead only a grumble left me.

After that, I sprinted back to the classroom, already preparing myself for the time where I'll be forced to watch two of my closest friends being all lovey dovey with each other, and I got all eyes on me as I stumbled through the door.

The teacher hadn't arrived yet and trying to get out of the painfully awkward situation, I cleared my throat, quickly finding my seat - also trying not to glower at the frisky boy, Donghyuck.

I dropped my head on the desk as the teacher, who arrived a few seconds after me, started lecturing.

The lesson went by faster than expected, maybe because my mind was so busy keeping me both from falling asleep and being bored, and I was with my group of friends in no time.

"I thought you said Donghyuck had asked Eunju out?" At Renjun's question I was rather confused, that was until I saw Hyuck, walking hand in hand with a girl - it was Sejeong.

Something inside of me stirred, I felt lighter, was it relief?

"I'm kinda glad." Those words weren't supposed to be heard by anyone, but Jeno looked at me, his eyebrows raised, and his next question made me look down.

"That she isn't with Donghyuck?" It was a whisper so he didn't catch the others' attention, and my shoulders moved up in a shrug as I whispered to myself, trying to make sure no one heard me this time;

"That she isn't with anyone in general."

This was really really bad.

The other guys hadn't heard what I had said and focused on the new couple walking down the halls, but what I had said was still bad.

I shouldn't be thinking like that, I didn't have the permission to think like that.

Because if I could date someone else, she could as well, it wasn't like we had ever been in a relationship or anything.

She was allowed to date someone, I just didn't want her to.