Dear Harry Potter

Chapter Six

Dear Severus Snape,

Today was an odd day. Draco came over, I'm not really sure why. It was pretty awkward at first, but it turned out to be okay. We cooked dinner and played chess. It didn't feel as forced as I thought it would. He's definitely changed.

I know he was your favorite Potions student. I thought about that while we were playing chess. It seems like my mind can't stop connecting things to you. I wonder why that is? You're haunting me, professor, whether you mean to or not.

You'd probably be smug about it, causing pain to the boy who lived, even after death. I can't help but feel like you're somehow torturing me on purpose. I cannot stop thinking about the war, thinking about your death.

Not just your death, necessarily. Everyone's. Sirius. Fred. Remus and Tonks.

I never found out how Remus and Tonks died. Did they die together, do you think? And why were they holding hands when I saw their bodies? Did someone arrange them like that?

I should go visit Teddy. I keep forgetting. I don't know why Remus chose me to be Teddy's godfather. I'm doing a terrible job of it.

How can I face a child when I know it's my fault his parents are dead? They died because I wasn't quick enough, wasn't strong enough.

Has someone ever died because of you? I can't help but think someone probably has. How did you keep your emotions out? I envy that you appeared so cold and heartless.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter

******

Dear Mr. Potter,

Yes, how wonderful to hear about my favorite and least favorite Potions student hanging out. You have simply made my day.

Potter, you really are astounding sometimes. Have you lost the ability to think for yourself? You connect events to me because you feel guilty, end of story. I would've thought that you would've connected that by now. Obviously, I'm giving you too much credit.

And I am not "torturing you on purpose", though that is an appealing idea at times.

No, you're doing a good job torturing yourself.

As for Remus and Tonks, I am unaware how they died. Perhaps you should write a letter to Remus, yes? I'm sure he had some reason to entrust his little brat to you. I can only imagine why, though. You must face the child, if you wish to be present in his life. That is fairly obvious, Mr. Potter.

As for your foolish question, yes. People have died because of me. You were there for Dumbledore, though I suppose you don't blame me for that anymore. I blame myself for your mothers death. I didn't keep the emotions out, no matter what you think. I let them eat me alive for awhile, before I learned mind control. Mind control, however, is not always perfect.

Keep that in mind.

Sincerely,

Severus Snape

*******

Dear Severus Snape,

I'm starting to make progress. It's not much, but it's something. I had Rita Skeeter write an article about you. Don't worry, I proof read it, and it's not complete trash. I'm starting to make some noise. The Ministry can't ignore me now. They can't ignore your innocence anymore.

While your article wasn't trash, I can't say the same about mine. In the interview I gave her, Rita claimed that I was dating Draco Malfoy. That's ridiculous, right? I mean, I'm not gay. I loved Ginny. I had a crush on Cho. Sure, I can appreciate guys that are attractive, but I'm not GAY.

And maybe I've questioned my sexuality before, but who hasn't? It doesn't mean anything.

I'm not sure if Draco is angry or amused right now. You've known him longer than I have, what do you think? I honestly think it's a mixture of both.

I'll probably have to face Kingsley soon. I'm not looking forward to it. But I'm ready to get this mess over with, to clear your name.

I plan to visit Teddy tomorrow. Maybe I'll go to the Burrow and visit Ron and Hermione too.

Do you think I'll ever be able to move on from the war? To finish cleaning up the mess I made, to stop being the hero for once? To get the closure I so desperately seek, to get revenge? Will the nightmares ever go away?

Probably not.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter

*******

Snape stared at the letter in disgust. Rita Skeeter. Writing about him. How dare Potter stick his nose where it didn't belong? How dare he find it appropriate to rant to a professor about his sexual orientation?

Again, he wondered to himself, why him?

How long would he have to sit here in silence, receiving letters from bloody Harry Potter?

Fingers clenching in frustration, he began to do the inevitable. He began to write.

Dear Mr. Potter,

How could you ever think that I'd approve Rita Skeeter writing about me? Do you really think that it makes me feel better to know that YOU proof read it? Absolutely not.

As for your pathetic rambling about your schoolboy crushes, do stop. I am growing very close to gouging my eyes out with my quill. I couldn't care less about your problems, or life, so kindly go to hell.

You asked about your nightmares. In my personal opinion, the answer is no. They will not go away.

You are not strong enough to make them.

Sincerely,

Severus Snape