Dear Harry Potter

Chapter Eight

Dear Severus Snape,

I visited Draco's Potion shop today. It's really kind of amazing that someone can accomplish so much by the age of 18, even if he didn't have to work for all his money.

It's really starting to hit me, we're adults now.

I realized something today. I'm not gay. I like both genders. I don't know why I feel so relieved. I just felt so...lost before. Confused. Now I feel like I know who I am.

I went out with Neville, Luna, Ron and Hermione tonight. Neville announced that he and Luna are dating, and that he's planning on opening a herbology shop. I'm really happy for them. I just can't help but feel a little lonely. Everyone has someone. Everyone has something. Ron is going to be an Auror. Hermione wants to work for the ministry. Luna is going to be a healer. Neville has his plants. Draco has his Potions.

But I have no one, and nothing. Sure, I'm studying Potions with Draco, but I don't think that I'll ever be great at it. Everyone has their thing, except me.

Well I guess that's not really true. I do have one thing.

Voldemort.

I have nightmares, and fame that I don't want.

If you didn't have Potions, what would your thing be?

Sincerely,

Harry Potter

****

Dear Mr. Potter,

It has been over 2 weeks. I am growing quite tired of this. Do you plan to do this for the rest of your life? Will I be condemned to my own personal hell, reading your letters for the rest of mine?

You say that you have nothing, but as I recall, you were quite good at Defense against the Dark Arts. Is there a reason you wish to avoid that particular subject?

Voldemort cannot be your "thing", Potter, I forbid it. As we've talked about, the nightmares are your own fault. You simply need to study your mind. But we both know you're too good for that.

My thing is Potions. It always will be. If it wasn't, I would go into DADA, much like you. Is your curiosity satisfied yet?

Good. Now kindly stop bothering me.

Sincerely,

Severus Snape

******

Dear Severus Snape,

I brewed Burning Basilisk Skin today. It's in Draco's stock room right now. He said it's good enough to see to people. I'm not sure why, but it makes me ridiculously happy when he says stuff like that. People are buying my Potions!

I've heard that the children at Hogwarts are enjoying the Potions labs. Would you sneer at their happiness, or be secretly pleased? I wish I knew. I wish you were here to see Draco's Potions shop. It really is amazing.

On a darker note, I had to go to The Burrow for Dinner today. Ginny tried to convince me to get back together with her. We got into a fight, and I blurted out that I'm gay. Of course I'm not, it just kind of came out. Anyway, Ron was furious with me. George took me outside, and we sat in the snow for awhile. He told me he was gay, and he found out after he had his first kiss. I asked him if he would kiss me, since I've only ever kissed girls before. And Merlin, it was incredible. I've never felt anything like it.

Anyway, I have a small memorial next to your grave right now. It's not much, but I'll keep working on your case. Having Hermione in the Ministry might help me immensely. I hope you're doing well.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter

******

It had been three months, and Snape couldn't do it anymore. He had no more patience left.

He didn't want to hear anymore about Harry's potions, his love life, or his noble charity of clearing people's names.

No, he was done. Today he would write back a letter. Today would be different. Today he would actually send the letter back.

******

Good, he had finally sent a letter back to the brat. Hopefully he would stop responding soon.

But for some reason, his hand still twitched impatiently under his dining room table, and he hated himself more than ever as he began to write a fresh letter that would never be sent

Dear Mr. Potter,

Today was the first time I have seen you since the war. I wasn't sure if I was disgusted or pleased to see that you hadn't changed one bit. You barged into my home without a second thought, and though I was annoyed, perhaps a part of me admired your courage. No one else would have dared to go after the dreaded potions master.

Even if I admire your courage, Potter, I cannot say that I hope that you will come back.

Sincerely,

Severus Snape

*******

Dear Mr. Potter,

You got me a Christmas gift. The best Christmas gift I have ever received, in fact. I don't understand why you went to such lengths to do a thing like that for me. No one ever has before, and I only admit that because I know that you will never read this.

I'm not sure whether I should be furious or touched. You did a very stupid thing, risking my exposure. But at the same time, what you did was remarkable. You single handedly tracked down DuPont. If you had shown this kind of effort at Hogwarts, you could have been top of your class. Life could've been so different, but alas, it was not.

Sincerely,

Severus Snape

*****

Dear Mr. Potter,

It's New Years Eve, and you got completely drunk at Draco's house, not surprisingly. You came into my room, invaded my privacy, and climbed into my bed. I'm sitting on the couch writing this letter right now, actually.

Though I loathe to admit it, I was somewhat stunned by your actions. You really aren't afraid of me anymore. Drunk or not, most of my prior students would flee at the mere sight of me. But you didn't. You continue to surprise me, Potter, though I'm not sure if that's a good thing.

Sincerely,

Severus Snape

*******

Dear Harry Potter,

Yes. It's Harry now, not Mr. Potter. I suppose you'd like to know why I made the sudden change.

Today, a few things happened yesteray that I cannot ignore. First of all, you refused to believe that I took my coffee black. You know that I like sugar in my tea, so you decided I must like sugar in my coffee as well. You're right. No ones ever noticed that before, and I have never admitted it myself. This may sound like a small, insignificant detail, but I find that that's rather the point. Who else would notice such an absurdly minor detail?

Second of all, you saved my life. I don't think you even realized that you did it, but you did. A potion exploded, and covered me with its contents. You dragged me up two flights of stairs, bathed me, and got me into bed, safe and sound. I was furious at first, I now realize that you did it to protect me. I was stunned when I woke up beside you, but I cannot blame you for that anymore. I reacted badly, and I apologize for that. You were as sick as I was.

I now owe you a life debt, though I doubt you should ever know. I am aware of your feelings about such things. I wish I could persuade you to feel otherwise, but I am fully aware that I cannot. I can only hope that I am able to fulfill the life debt fairly easily in the future....

Sincerely,

Severus Snape