In search for the origins

Part 8

I decided not to tell anyone about my new dream. What sense did it have? It might as well be a way to let my worries out, and just that. Still, at breakfast, Allen realised I wasn't as talkative as I normally was, and when we were about to go back to the room before starting the day, asked me to stay on the hotel lounge, smoking...

-This is not only because you're nervous about the search, right?

-No...I had another dream, last night. God, it seems all so real! What if they are memories and not just a dream?

-Could be, we can't deny that. But don't let that put your hopes too high. Keep your head cold, ok? Even if we find something good, there is no way to know what will happen next. And both you and May have been through hard times recently, so please be careful with all this. Anyway, you two know you can count on me and Jess for whatever...

-Yeah, I know...thanks, Allen. For everything.

When we were waiting for the elevator, I heard Edith calling me. It was rather a shock seeing her so early, and even more seeing her father was with her.

-Good morning, Andy..and...

-Oh, this is my uncle, Allen Breech.

-Nice to meet you...Andy, can we talk to you? It's important...

My heart did skip a beat. That could only mean one thing...

-Have you...found out something? It's that, right?

-Well, not exactly... Is there a place where we can talk?

-Our room, if you don't mind...May, my sister, is there, and so are my girl and my aunt.

-No...it will be better, in fact.

It was only three floors, but it seemed as twenty. When I knocked at the door, it was Sue who opened. She didn't know Edith nor her father, so she was a bit startled by their presence there. I introduced them, and May and Jess as well. Then, we sat on the beds, leaving the armchairs to Edith and Mr Carson.

-First of all, I think I must apologize. I didn't 'tell you everything I knew, yesterday. When she came back, I was talking to Edith, and she convinced me to come this morning. Look, there is no need you go to the orphanage. Your mother is my younger sister.

I swallowed hard, and grabbed Sue and May's hands.

-She was about to marry, but her fiance's family knew nothing about you two, and nor did he. She was terribly afraid of them finding out, so...gave you in adoption. Sometime later, when she was already married, she told the truth to her husband, and went to the orphanage to look for you. But you had already been adopted. She has regretted having left you at that orphanage every day since then. I'm sorry having to tell you this, whether you believe it or not.

We all kept in an unconfortable silence for a while. I was trying to accept all that. May and me had been rejected, because of fear or shame. Our mother had decided we two couldn't be part of her new life. I didn't care if she had regretted leaving us or not. She had done it, without even looking for another solution.

Finally, Jess made the question...

-And...their father? Who was he? And why couldn't you keep them, instead of giving them away? You were their uncle...

-If I had been here, I would have. But, at the time, I was fighting at the war, in Europe. I found out when I came back, in 1945. And about your father, well, he was a neighbour of us. He was killed at the end of 1943, when Elsie was expecting you-and he looked at May -If this helps you, he would have married her after the war.

-He could have done it, if he had wanted to. I was three when May was born...why didn't they use the leave to get married? And how did she manage to hide her pregnancy?

-I think it's better you ask her about that...

-Is she alive, then?

-Yes...I will talk to her today and ask her to come, she lives in Nebraska now, with her husband...and your half siblings. As Edith told you, I won't be here today, but I will be back tomorrow night. Oh...and I would like you all to stay at my house, there is plenty of place there...

-No, thanks...we don't want to be a nuisance..

-Nonsense. I insist...

-Well, ok, then. And thanks again.

-It's ok...I have to go now, Edith and Mary will take care of you when you're at home. See you tomorrow.

Well, that was it, then. I didn't know what to think about what I had heard, and had a kind of knot in my stomach about meeting my mother the following day. And my half siblings. How would they be? Would they know we did even exist?

Slowly, I started packing, with my mind being miles away.

-Hey, let us take care of this. You three, go out for a walk along the hotel garden. It will do good to you...We'll reach you when we are through with this.

-Thanks, Jess..

So, May, Sue and me went down to the garden. We walked in silence for a while, each one of us lost in his own thoughts...

-I still can't believe she could get rid of us just like that...

-Don't judge her, before knowing her reasons...

-Sue, tell me something...if you had a child of mine, and I were away, would you be able to give him to adoption? No, right?

-I know how you feel, but...

-No, you don't! Not even May does...God, she was a baby when the Stevens adopted us, and they're the only familiy she's ever met! But me...I was three, my mother had me for all that time and still gave me away all the same! You have your own family, your parents, your sisters...so don't tell me you know how I feel, huh?

-Andy, she's just trying to help. Don't push her away...this ain't easy for none of us.

-You'd better go upstairs, to help Jess and Allen. I want to be alone for a while..

-No...we'll stay here, we won't talk if you don't want it, but we won't leave you alone either...