In search for the origins

Part 19

Next day, as he had asked me to, I called Charles to the hotel he and mother were staying at. He sounded pretty nervous and worried on the phone, but I didn't care that much about it...We agreed to meet a couple hours later, and he said he would come home since they were already going back to Billings that very evening, and had to go to the airport.

When he came home, it was really shocking he was alone, no trace of mother. 

-She's already back in Helena. I told her to stay and tell you the truth face to face, but she didn't dare to. There's a letter she wrote to you two, and asked me to give it to you.

That wasn't reassuring at all. What was so terrible for our mother running away just like that? I sat on the sofa, betweeen Sue and May, and began to read...

"My dear Andy and May. You don't know how very hard it is for me writing this letter...I wish I was I brave enough to tell you this face to face, but I am too ashamed of myself as to do it. I wouldn't bear seeing the disappointment in your eyes...Before you go on, I want you to know I do love you both very, very much, and I would give no matter what for turning time back. Please do not blame Charles about this, he has just known the story a while ago. He insisted me on facing you two, but , as I say, I'm too ashamed to do it"

I stopped reading and looked at Charles. He was even more nervous than when he arrived. 

-What's this about...? 

-I'm sorry, really sorry. If I had known on time what Elsie tells you in that letter..

May had a concerned, scared expression, and she  turned in the sofa, as ashe always did when something bothered her. I took the letter again.

"Andy, when you were  released from jail and asked me how and why had I met your foster father, you had every right to know...It all began in Billings, when you were a year and a half, or maybe less. I was scared and alone, with a little boy to take care of, and no one to help me.Those days, your father and Charles were fighting in Europe, and your grandmother had already passed away.  Then,one day,  I saw an advertisement in a newspaper. A young couple was looking for someone to take care of their son. They offered accomodation and meals. I answered to the advertisement, but rejected the accomodation, since I had no one to leave you with. That couple were Richard and Marjorie Stevens"

" With time, I became quite essential in that house. Marjorie had had some serious health issues, and stayed in bed most of time. One morning, while I was cleaning her bedroom, she and Richard asked me something that I just didn't expect. Doctors had told her she would never be able to have another baby, and she wanted that more than any other thing. They had been watching me , the way I behaved to their kid, and wanted me to have a baby for them. Of course, Richard had to be the father"

-It can't be...- May let out a small, inaudible sob...- Does this mean I...? No...this can't be true...

I rubbed her back before going on with that damned letter.  Deep inside me, I was fuming, and every word I read hurt more and more.

" At first, I refused, but my situation was getting worse, and they offered to assume every cost my pregnancy and the delivery could bring. It took me a lot of time to accept their offer, but I finally did.  Once it was confirmed I was pregnant, I travelled with Marjorie to the same house I stayed at while I expected you, Andy. I would deliver the baby there, and when we were back, after some time, I would have to leave him, or her, at the orphanage until the Stevens adopted my baby. When you were born, May, I felt happy and sad at the same time. You were so tiny! I even  thought of keeping you with me and not respecting the agreement I had with the Stevens, but they had made me sign a kind of contract. I know now,  it was illegal and they wouldn't have gone to court with that, but right then I was afraid...So, I finally had to accept you two being taken to the orphanage for a short time, before they go there looking for a baby.  I only imposed a condition...that you two had to stay together. If I couldn't have you, at least you would have one another. I have regretted that decision ever since , but I knew there was no way back. I know this will hurt you both, that's why I couldn't tell you in person. I do hope you will forgive me some day..."

When I finished reading the letter, an awkward silence extended over the living room. I felt rage and a great sadness deep inside me, and cursed the day I started looking for my real parents.

-I ...I can't deal with this.How could she...?

May was in shock, and had a lost look in her eyes. Silent tears were running down her cheeks...if what that letter said was true, she could be legally forced to stay with the Stevens...she hugged me and let go a heartbreaking cry of despair.