In search for the origins

Part 9

-Haven't you heard me? I just need to be alone for a while!

Sue and May looked at me with surprise, but none of them said a word, they just went back to the room. I had rage, sadness and a great amount of loneliness, and felt betrayed by my natural mother and by my foster parents. Had any of them ever cared about me? Three years raising me, and then she was able to give me away all the same. And the Stevens...well, I did know how and why had they adopted me. If May hadn't been there, I could have stayed in the orphanage for who knows how long. Maybe it would have been better that way...they had their moments, but I could not say the Stevens had been the ideal parents.

Some footsteps pulled me out from my thoughts. I turned around and saw Edith there, with a cigarette in her hands. She took another one from her bag, lit it and handed it to me.

-I guess you'll feel like it. Wanna talk?- and she smiled lightly.-The girls told me you'd be here.

-Yeah, thanks...You know, right now I don't really know if I want to see her...what kind of reason could she have to do this to us? If she had really cared, she would have kept us...it was hard knowing she felt shame, of her own children.

-I do undertstand you, but I think you should see her. You're too angry now, but if you don't talk to her, you may regret it later...

-You may be right. And this is why I came here, after all. But once I have talked to her, what? Will it change something? And what about my other siblings? Do they know anything about us?

-Let time be the judge in all this, ok? And your siblings, well, I think you'll get along with them, mainly with Tom. He's one year younger than May, and...well, you'll see when you meet him. And then there's Emily, the youngest one, she's about to be ten, and she's just like Mary was at her age. But much kinder than she was, thank God.

I couldn't but smile, recalling those fights between the Carson girls. My cousins, who would have thought so.

-How do you two get along right now? It seems much better... You know, the only good thing I get from all this mess is having two new cousins... Remember when we were at school? You and Mary had two different groups of friends, and if someone belonged to one of them, couldn't even talk to the other...I was one of the few who got along with both of you. Don't tell Mary, but if I had had to choose, I had rather gone with your gang.

-Ha! Thanks, so say I. You know, I had envy of you and May, because of the complicity you had, I couldn't but compare you two with Mary and me. But you saw it, now Mary and me get along quite well. We just grew up, I guess. And Matt smoothed her quite a lot, too. He's really nice...you know, when they started dating I thought he was too good for her. But, he has made her a better person, even my father says so. Wanna know something? I think it's quite likely you will have to come back soon, he's about to propose her..

-Things are ready, and we've already checked out from the hotel. So, if you're ready...the others are waiting in the car.

-Yeah, thanks, Jess...we're going right now.

Once we were settled at the Carsons place, Sue and me went out for a walk, along Billings. I felt like showing her the places where I had grew up...my old school, the park where me and my friends used to play...and well, I wanted us to be on our own for a while. All that mess about my origins had helped me taking a decision about Sue and me. I knew, we were still in high school, but I just knew she was the one... 

May would go out with Mary and Edith, so that they could talk and start knowing each other. A couple hours later, we had arranged to meet Matt and the rest of my old gang. Maybe by then I could give all of them the good news.

-I guess I owe you an apology...but all this is overwhelming me, really. You both are my support right now, and..

-There's no need to apologize, you have every right to be angry. I would be even more, if I were in your shoes. Have you decided what to do, after you've talked to...her?

-To my mother, you mean? No, but I won't stay here, if it's that what worries you. My life is in San Francisco now...but I won't stay one more day with the Stevens, either. I guess I'll look for a job and a small apartment for me...or...well, for both of us, if you want to...

-Wait wait...is this a proposal?

-Sort of, yeah. I've been thinking about it those days, I want to have my own family. I know, this may not be the best moment or the best place to do it, and I will get you a fine ring as soon as I can, but...

-Oh, shut up! And forget about the ring, if we are gonna start a life in common, we will need every penny right?

-Is this a yes?

-Absolutely, yes! I sure will marry you!