5. Freezing

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I woke up. It was strange, this feeling. I had no idea what to think. Was that what just happened just real. Or was it a dream. There was only one way to find out. I went over to the window. "Mom!" I called. The wind started to blow stronger now. "Amy," I heard. It was my mother's voice. "Mom, I have a question, how shall I use that 'magic' you told me about?" I enquired. "You have to look for it deep in your soul, then you'll find it!" Then her voice disappeared. 

After our conversation my heart felt kind of cold. It felt like it was freezing. But it wasn't painful. It actually felt good. It cooled the bruises and wounds in my heart. So I had to look deep inside my soul. But that was hard. How should I do that? I sat down on the floor and closed my eyes. I tried to imagine snow or ice. I think I should try it with ice first. I felt the cold in my body. It flew through my whole body into my hands. I felt my fingertips freezing. It felt like actual ice.

 I opened my eyes to look. But there was nothing. Nothing. My fingertips were red but there was nothing else. I felt the anger in my soul. I was disappointed. But why? My blood was like frozen. My eyes felt like they were freezing too. This feeling was just weird. My soul felt so cold. It was just strange. It felt like my whole body was freezing. But then, after a while it stopped. But everything I just did was strange. Why was I talking to my deceased mother? How was that possible? And why was my soul freezing. Was it that what Mom has told me? Was I getting emotionless? Were my emotions fading? I really felt cold in that moment but in a way you can't explain. It was actually really satisfying. I didn't feel that pain I felt before. I wasn't crying. My mother's death didn't hurt me anymore. I realized I couldn't stay a crybaby. I couldn't even cry. I wasn't even sad in that moment. It was just that I missed my mom. I really missed her. It was painful. But I didn't shed a single tear this time. Was I really getting emotionless? Was that true? 

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