Amy, Martin & The Elements Of Winter

3. A Dream?

A Saturday, two weeks later, still January:
I still didn't get used to it. My mother's funeral was a week ago. Everyday I remember her, everyday I cry for her. Nightmares are torturing me in every single night. Actually, my life itself is a huge nightmare.

I jumped out of my bed and got dressed. Although it was cold outside, I wanted to go for a short walk. Maybe I would forget my mother's death quicker. I was walking through the city when my mind started torturing me. I wanted to think of something else, but it didn't work. The more I tried, the more flashbacks came into my mind.

8 years ago:
Her big light green eyes. Her blonde hair. She was just like me. I looked into her shiny eyes. She looked back and just gave me a smile. I smiled back. "Mom, I'm glad that I have you! I love you!" I whispered quietly. She took my tiny hand. "And I am glad that I have you too!" she softly replied. I chuckled and relased my hand from hers. The reason was a blue butterfly. And I was already chasing it........

Those thoughts hurt me. Imagine a knife stabbing your heart. My pain got even bigger. I started tearing up, in public. Some people noticed that and started staring at me. I noticed them and ran away. I decided to visit my mother. When I arrived at the cemetry I prayed for a while in front of her grave. I looked up into the air. "Mom, can you hear me?" I whispered voicelessly. The wind started blowing and it seemed like it was talking to me. "Yes, Amy! I love you!" a voice spoke.

I jumped up. "Mom!" I stared up into the blue sky. Suddenly some clouds appeared. They were completely white. My mother's face appeared on the clouds. I was shocked. Just shocked. "Mom," was the only thing I could say. I really haven't had any words for what just happened. I could see my deceased mother in the clouds. I always believed in some kind of miracles or magic but I would have never expected that.

"Hello, Amy! I know you are suprised that I'm talking to you. Your wish to see me again was so big, you can talk to me through the elements of winter!" I started to cry. "Mom! I love you!" The picture of her face still stayed on the cloud. "Mom, I have so much to tell you!" Even if it would be just a dream. Even if this wasn't real, I'm sure I would wake up with a smile after a long time.