Masquerade, A Tom Hiddleston Story

Part 5 "Green eyed monster"

 "O beware, my lord, of jealousy; It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meet it feeds on," 

Shakespeare is obsessed with green eyed monster of jealousy. A few years earlier before that famous line from Othello, in The Merchant of Venice, Portia says "green-eyed jealousy"

Why is green the color of jealousy? Loki is green... Is his jealous nature rubbing of on me?

I'm not making sense I know. Safe to say I'm slightly tipsy. This is why I never drink. Well that's a lie. I won't deny myself a glass of wine during dinner. But I stay away from everything else. But tonight meet my buddies 'vodka' and 'martini'. Second glass.

It's amazing what a few days can change things. Kate and I were becoming fast friends. Sadly we could never find the time to meet due to the packed schedule of the last leg of the shoot. We message each other constantly at night though. And somehow it was enough to make me hope that there was more to this then friendly banter and harmless flirting.

There was one particular message session that I still remember. And probably she does to if chose to, having a photographic memory and all.

It was the night after the meeting room scene. A long tiring day.

K: hey you up?
T: yup... (I was contemplating whether or not to text you).
K: I'm tired...
T: me too.
K: nooo... as in I'm tired of this shoot. Is it ever going to end? If I see one more Victorian dress I swear I might lose it. Find me at the asylum.
T: you get your wish soon. It's ending faster than I can imagine.
K: you don't want this torture to end? Imagine a day free of velvet coats, vest and top hats...
T: I won't miss them for a while... But I will miss seeing you squirm everytime I drink coffee...
K: you spilled on the velvet coat before wrap up. I nearly died.
T: two small drips. Overeactor extrodinaire you are...
K:I'm gonna miss it though.
T: the velvet coat? I'm sure G would let you keep it. Wear it to Covent garden hahahha...
K: not talking about the coat... I'm gonna miss looking out for you.

And then my stupid smart phone died on me.

After that there was a few flirty conversations back and forth, but all in the spirit of good fun. Never did the word 'miss' and 'you' ever came up again.

And then someone came down from London. And it was never the same.

"Such a handsome fellow... I expect he's here to propose..." Hester went on. Not realising that the listener has stiffened considerably.

"They are staying together in that apartment. In my days that's a clear sign of a serious relationship" she excitedly shared.

He came to set twice. Friendly with the costume people as expected. Made dear Ron blush once or twice. But he never stayed for long. Always hugging Kate before he left.

You might ask how I know this in detail. Yep I asked Sam to spy on them. I'm that low. That desperate. But I never asked questions.  Not even to sweet Ron who is chattier and livelier as the shoot went on. I was too proud to show that the green eyed monster now lives in me.

Her attitude never changed though. She would sometime stop by at my trailer to have meaningless chats and cups of coffee. But it seemed empty now. Hollow of the possibilities of it going somewhere. And it was frustrating

"One more please" I requested.

"Tom slow down..." Lucas touched my outstretched hand, reaching for another full glass of vodka martini.

"Cmooon mate you always want me to unwind and have fun in these events. So let me..." I slurred.

Im at the wrap party organised by the producers. They so kindly booked the VIP level of a happening club downtown for the cast and crew. The music was softer up here. Conversations and laughter filled the room.

I however was at the bar. Wallowing in misery. Lucas, who flew in especially for the occasion was with me. Sam somewhere in the shadows, and Harry is somewhere snogging one of the ADs. Lucky bastard.

She was there of course. In all her glory. With leather tights and boots. A modest but edgy indian inspired tunic made sure her curves stood out. We exchanged polite hellos just moments before. But I left her to be with her team.

I realised Lucas suddenly was talking animatedly to Mia who just arrived. That was my cue to escape.

I got myself another glass and decided to nurse it on the glass balcony. Looking down at the roaring club scene below. For a brief moment I was hypnotized by the lights and the movement of the clubgoers.

A familiar scent suddenly filled my nostrils. A warm nudge sent shivers down my spine.

"Hey handsome, all by yourself?" Kate said playfully.

I gave her a sad pathetic smile.

"It looks like they all are having more fun than us VIP folks" she nod her head towards the action below.

"It's the Titanic effect" I offered a witty remark. You know when after a stuffy first class dinner Jack took Rose below deck and showed her where the real party was. Kate would get this instantly you see. And it hurts that she does.

She laughed generously at my inside joke. Her hand traveling up to my houlder to give me an approving pat. I could feel my stomach knotting. And it's not from the vodka.

"This I will miss... You I will miss" she laughed again.

He wanted to kiss her and smack her at the same time. How can she do this to him? Flirting shamelessly while knowing that nothing can ever be more for them than this. Does she really not know that I fancied her?

"What? Something on my face?" She asked. I guess my anger is now obvious.

"I bet you can't wait to go back huh? Back with that guy who came from London. Must be hard to have a long distance thing" I wanted to say 'relationship' but the vodka is eradicating most of my vocabulary.

"Who? Ned? Oh my God..." She brought her palm to her mouth.

"Tom... Ned is my brother. My older brother who is getting married next year. I must have told you about him. He wanted to see me working since forever. But never got a chance to. And he was like 'well I'm gonna be married next year so now is the time'" She explained. Her eyes opening and closing with each word.

Brother.

A simple word to simplify things (I'm drunk).

I racked my brains for an appropriate response but got nothing to come out. Thank you Martini my buddy.

"Wait are you jealous of Ned?" She accused.

Still nothing from my dear old fried as potatoes brain. I just stared blankly at her shocked face.

My silence seemed to bother her. She squinted her green eyes for what seemed like an eternity. And then continued to state the obvious.

"Tom, do you like me?"