You Light Up the Sky Like Lightning

Chapter Fifty Seven

You Light Up the Sky Like Lightning 57

"I don't want to talk to you," I mumbled. 

Justin got a pained expression on his face. "Landry, I'm so sorry for everything. Please just hear me out. Please...?"

I sighed. I was still sitting on the floor in the middle of the dance studio. I looked at the ground again, but let him talk. "Fine, but make it quick."

I could have sworn that I could sense Justin smile. And plus, he's been trying to get me to talk to him for more than two weeks. And I've just avoided him, which wasn't going to solve any problems. It's not like I can run out of the studio right now, because he's fast, and he would catch me. And, the song I just listened to had me really confused for the moment. 

"Landry," Justin said, sitting down across from me. He tried to take one of my hands, but I quickly pushed myself backwards, sliding across the wood floor, away from him. 

"Don't touch me," I warned, but using a whispering voice.  

"Okay, I'm sorry," Justin said really quietly. He folded his hands in his lap. 

I looked back up at him. He had tears along his eyelids, and he was watching me intently. 

"Explain," I said simply. 

Justin took a deep breath. "Landry, I didn't want it to be a bet, I swear. I have no idea what I was thinking."

"So why did you do it?" I shot back. 

Justin looked away from me. "I- I don't know."

I rolled my eyes. I started to stand up to leave, but Justin grabbed my wrists, and said, "No, please! I'll explain everything!"

I studied him for a second before slowly sitting back down.  

"I... You've shown me what love really means," he started. "Everything outside of the bet... that was real. Even parts of the bet were real. I promise you that I loved you- and I still do- and I never ever ever ever wanted to hurt you."

"Yeah, well, how'd that play out?" I mumbled. 

Justin looked at me with another painful expression. 

"You don't understand," Justin whispered, looking away from me. 

"Do not tell me I don't understand!" I yelled, making him jump. "I understand just fine! I understand that you went behind my back- with the guy who raped me!- to make a bet! I understand that the bet was to see if you could have sex with me! Well, I also understand that apparently you won! What am I missing?!"

"The fact that you would have been raped again if I hadn't!" Justin yelled right back at me. 

I froze and my heart stopped. "Wha- what?"

Justin took a deep breath again and squeezed his eyes shut. "Cameron came back that night when we were in Russia because he wanted to rape you again. I sent you away to wait on the sidewalk so you wouldn't be near him. I thought I was protecting you. Cameron said that he wanted to feel... how you felt... again... Do you know how it feels to have someone tell me about how you felt? Knowing that I didn't even know if or when I would be able to?"

I kept quiet. 

"Anyways," Justin said quietly, looking away again. "I made the bet just to make him leave. It was the only way. But, he said that if I didn't win the bet by September first, and if he did win, then... he would come back to finish what he started that day in the arena. And I... couldn't let that happen."

"So basically you just used me," I whispered. 

"God, no! I didn't use you, I swear! I would never do that!"