Cheater ; Phan ~ completed

7

(Dan)

We sit in silence for another few minutes, until I write something, slipping it under the door.

I don't know what to believe.

"It's okay if you don't trust me anymore."

I get it.

"I want to believe you."

But I don't know if I can..

"After everything..?"

"After everything." I repeat, staring at the door in front of me.

I can't take it back Dan.. I wish I could.

"But how do I know it won't happen again?" I say, not writing anything down, but slipping the paper back to him.

You'll just have to believe me.

"How can I?" I wonder. "How do I know can I trust you?

How do I know this all wasn't a lie?

"Dan.."

You've known me for years.

"But how do I know you just weren't faking it?"

I could never do that to you. I love you.

"Why weren't you thinking that then?"

"A lot of old feelings came back.."

So you still have feelings for him?

"No."

"But you just said that you did."

Used to.

"Same thing."

"What can I do to fix this?"

Nothing. I guess.

"So that's it then?" He asks softly.

"That's it." I whisper, heartbroken.

Are you.. Breaking up with me, Dan?

I guess I am.

"But.."

"Don't."

I love you.

You're making this harder than it needs to be.

Its the truth.

"I don't care."

"I do."

Oh well. You ruined it.

"Why can't you forgive me?"

Please?

"Because, Phil.. After all these years. I would've thought you'd be faithful. That you'd care about me enough not to go off and make out with some ex from nearly a decade ago! Really, how do I know you haven't done it before? How can I trust anything that's happened? Really!"

"What about everything we have together? You're throwing it away?"

I'm not. You did.

I didn't mean to.

"But you did."

"And I'm sorry."

"Fuck sorry. You're not sorry. If you were sorry, this wouldn't be fucking happening."

"But I love you."

"If you loved me, even a little.. This wouldn't have happened."

"But-"

"No fucking but's Phil! Its the truth! If you cared about me in the slightest, you wouldn't have even thought about kissing someone else, let alone sitting there and let them give you hickeys!"

I made a mistake Dan.

"Well some mistakes are fatal."

"But I don't want this one to be."

"It is."

"I love you."

"No you don't."

"I do."

"That's a lie." I say, as the paper slips back under my side.

Do you love me?

Yes.

"Okay."

"You don't deserve to hear that out loud though."

I understand.

"Are you happy now? Was he worth it?"

"No."

"I can't imagine this ever feeling the same again."

"I can."

"I don't. because kissing you, I'll only think of how your lips might've felt against his. Twisted, isn't it?"

At least I had the decency to tell you.

Are you accusing me of something Phil?

"Are you guilty of something?"

"I could never."

I did. Who's to say you didn't?

"Oh so just because you did, I did?"

"Who knows?"

"Are you calling me a cheater?"

Silence.

"Wow. You think, I'd sink so low as to go off with anyone else? I love- Ah.. I.. I could never do that. I can't imagine ever being with someone else. And thats why it hurts. Imagining someone else's lips all over you. Because I thought you were mine. Only mine. And it turns out I was wrong."

(588)