Cheater ; Phan ~ completed

13

(Phil)

I was shocked. I wasn't expecting him to come in my room, much less get into the bed. But, he did.

Turns out, he needed me as much as I needed him. Probably more, at this moment.

Every sob was heart wrenching. Every whimper and muttered cry broke my heart a little more. I tried to help, to calm him down. But I don't know if I'll ever be able to fix this deepening hole in between us. 

Eventually, his tears came to a stop and he fell asleep, leaving me awake, and wishing everything was as fine as it seems on the outside.

Looking in, I'm just a boy, holding onto the one he loves, both tired, one asleep. You can see love, and it's expected.

But I don't know if that's the case. It's probably not.

Because reality is.. I am. And I do love him. But things aren't peaceful. Things aren't okay. My mind is buzzing, and I want to have him the way I did over the weekend, or just three days ago.

But I don't. I can't.

So I sit here, in this bed. His arm draped over my stomach, and his head on my chest. I'm holding him close, wishing to keep this moment forever.

I too, fall asleep. Lulled into peacefulness by the illusion that everything is okay.

And maybe, one day, it will be.

 Things could be worse, because I could be in this bed alone. But he's here. And I guess that makes it okay.

(255)