Loving Him

f i f t e e n

Author's Note: Hey, loves! It's been a minute! Joking, more like, an eternity! I've been on hiatus, I think y'all noticed, ha-ha, for over a month. I've been going through some things & struggling with my mental health & trying to balance university, a job, & being mentally stable. A cleanse of a month was enough & I cannot thank you guys enough for being so patient with me. I really didn't like being away but I did not want to write out of obligation. When I started this story, I wrote it with my heart, poured my soul into it. The last thing I would want to do is give a half-assed story. I really do cherish this story & want to make sure it is a masterpiece. Again, thank you cuties so much for being here for me & being patient! I know the wait was excruciatingly long.

Onto the story, there will be self-harm in this so I will again, indicate the parts of that with two asterisks "**" (both start & end) to act as a trigger warning.

Again, thank you guys so much & hope y'all enjoy this chapter as much as I did as I wrote it! (Seriously, I was shaking as I was writing it!)

Darkness engulfed me & surrounded me with its unwelcoming embrace. Where I was, I didn't know. But it was so cold. So...quiet. My back was flat against a cold, hard surface but I still felt weightless, as if I was made of air. The only sound I could hear in the hollow space that I was in was my breathing which seemed to be slowly accelerating for some odd reason. Was I experiencing a panic attack? I couldn't say because I hadn't experienced one before, or not that I could remember. I couldn't move & it reminded me of my previous encounters with sleep paralysis. At the mention of that, I'm sure I would've felt a shiver run down my spine but I was unable to even connect with my own body, let alone move it. Why?

"Why?" I heard a small, child-like voice ask, almost tauntingly. I froze, as if I could lay more still than I already was. I tried hard to hold my rapid breathing down & controlled so it could be quieter. For some reason, I knew I did not want to attract whatever was in the same area as me. My fear instincts were blaring & kicking in.

During my previous encounters with sleep paralysis, I never recalled experiencing a sound stimulus. It has always only been visuals that consisted of lurking, dark figures in the corner of my room or the feeling that something or that someone is there. This time though, I only heard that voice that made me want to get up & run far away from it. But...I couldn't. I hadn't realized that I had my eyes shut until they flew open, almost self accordingly when I heard some soft shuffling. It was still very dark though, albeit a small, source-less light that was a few yards away from me.

My head turned on its own accord towards the dim lit area to my right & my eyes registered...skin. It reminded me of a naked mole rat or a Siamese cat. I wasn't fond of either, to say at the very least. A familiar wave of nausea wiped over me & I felt like hurling right there on the floor. It was confusing as to how I felt but didn't feel at the same time.

As I was staring at it, trying to figure out what it was & trying to water down my fears I noticed that it moved.

My eyes followed it as it slowly crawled towards me, leaving a trail of red slime-ly substance behind it. Panic started to bubble in my throat. I did not want it near me at all & I tried my best to move but my body still was restricted in its movements. I hadn't realized that it was so close to me until its face, or whatever you could call a face, came into my view. My eyes widened in fear & this weird realization hit me as I realized that this thing eerily looked like a developing human fetus. It looked like the fetus that I usually tracked on my phone whenever I was pregnant with my first child. I opened my mouth to let out a scream but again, my motor skills failed me.

"Why, mommy?" it asked. The fetus crawled somewhere out of my view. I started to hyperventilate out of control as I felt more slimy objects crawling over me & on top of the fact that I could not see anything & that horrified me even more.