Loving Him

t w o

That night was a night that I'll never forget. The memory and emotions have etched themselves into my very being and soul to the point that I'm afraid that it'll never go away. I'll never be okay.

After our small wedding that consisted of us and both of our parents, we went to our new home that he had bought recently. It was simply furnished, to my liking. I was glad that I could use it as a canvas and make it more aesthetically pleasing. Interior designing was my hobby whenever I was not busy working as an orthopedic nurse.

I shyly glanced at him as we entered our new room. My mouth opened and closed as I was trying to find something to say. It was awkward for he hadn't said anything to me other than the usual greetings during all the few weeks that we got to 'know' each other. Though, I really hoped he loved me as much as I have found myself to love him. It was love at first sight. I bashfully smiled down at my hands.

He finally saved me from my embarrassment as he monotonously stated that he'll change first and I nodded in response, too scared to talk because I was so happy. I was afraid that if I talked, my voice would come out as an embarrassing, high-pitched squeak.

Once I watched his muscular figure leave to change and wash up, I decided to change my clothes into my pajamas in our walk-in closet since the annoying wedding dress was pinching and scratching my back in various places. By the time I was done, he was brushing his teeth and I decided to wash my face from all the heavy makeup that I did not agree to being slathered on my face.

I glanced at him sideways as I rubbed the face wash into my face and felt a blush spread along my cheeks as I noticed he was bare chested and basically half naked. He was not heavily sculpted to the point that it was overwhelming but his body was lean and his sweatpants hung lowly on his gracious hip bones. I quickly turned my gaze back to myself in the mirror before I ended up drooling all over myself. He was beautiful. I smiled to myself as I imagined our life together. And most of all, I wanted him to be happy. I would do anything for him to be happy. I loved him.

Hesitantly, I crawled into our bed after him once we both finished washing up and I sadly turned my back to him because I was shy and I guess he was shy too because he hadn't said a single word. It's okay though. That's probably normal for couples to get awkward and shy. But I still wanted to do nothing more than to be in his hold and watch him as he sleeps.

"Goodnight and sweet dreams, Adam." I whispered to him, inclining my head towards him after I mustered the courage to say at least that much. I smiled to myself as I turned my head back for finding the bravery to say that and I hoped he would reply, at the very least.

Before I could finish relishing in my contentment, rough hands grabbed my shoulders and I suddenly felt myself fall off the bed and onto the cold, wood floor. Shocked, I stayed where I was because everything seemed to move so slowly and I couldn't move my body. I managed to pull myself up a little but I stared intently at the ground, trying to collect myself. What had just happened?

Feet entered my vision and I had no other reaction but to look up at the owner of the feet. My eyes met with the hard, cold ones of Adam, my husband.

"Adam, I-"

"Shut up." He said coldly, cutting me off.

Adam squatted so that he was eye to eye with me and he harshly grabbed my chin and forced me to raise my head and meet his eyes.

"I do not care what is on the papers, but you are not my wife and you are not to call me Adam. You are a slave under this household. You chose to be a slave the second you agreed to this business-arranged marriage. Nevertheless, you have no privileges and no choice here." Adam said stonily as he tightened his grip on my chin.

I felt tears threatening to fall from my eyes and fall they did.

"Understand?" He growled as he dug his fingers into my skin. I was sure there would be bruises tomorrow morning and a shiver travelled down my body at that thought. How would I hide it when I started working?

I nodded fearfully as my chin trembled.

"Leave at once with all your things. You do not sleep in my bed no longer. The basement is your place now." Adam said as he got up and lay back down in his, not our, bed.

A whimper left my lips and Adam scoffed mockingly at that. I hurriedly grabbed all my things from his room and fled to the basement and realized that the realtor had stated that it was still under construction. Mustering my courage, I curled up on the cold pavement and made way for forced slumber.

That night, I cried my heart out. The man I love hates me. Yet I still loved him.