Loving Him

f o u r

The bruises on my body started to form and I got worried. The marks on my wrist, chin, and cheek were met by many more over the month I lived with Adam. I wondered if foundation could even cover the bruising on my body anymore. But I didn't want Adam to get in trouble. He deserved more and I had to protect him.

I stared off into space as I waited for my coffee to brew. Coffee was my lifeline and without it, I think I would've had mental breakdowns all the time. Glancing at the time, I noticed it was 5:46 A.M. The timing was perfect because I had to be at the hospital by 6 A.M. My shifts were 12 hour shifts nowadays and just as tiring. I did mind it a little because I wanted to be with Adam, but I also had to support him. Even though he was the CEO of some big mall corporation and even though our business marriage got him a lot of money, he still insisted that 3/4 of my paycheck should go to him. I didn't mind it at all though. People had secret troubles that they didn't wish to tell everyone about. There's more to people than meets the eye and I understood that. I just wished that he would tell me why because I was after all, his wife. It saddened me that he claimed I wasn't. But with time, he'll recognize me if I try harder.

~

After a long day of working at the nursing home, I drove back home. As usual, I unlocked the door, put my bags away in the basement, and prepared to take a shower.

I turned on the shower head and let out a sigh of relief as the lukewarm water cascaded over my body. I was about to reach for the shampoo but then I felt a warm body behind me and I instantly tried to turn around but I was stopped abruptly by thick hands that held my wrists back.

Shaking, I managed to glance back to see who was with me and to my surprise, it was just Adam. Feeling my body visibly relax, I let out a quiet sigh of relief.

"Ad-I mean, Mr. Pember. What are you doing here?" I asked softly.

No response.

Instead, I felt hands in places I never felt before and kisses that left me in a daze of adoration. I wanted to love Adam in every form and every which way. So I went with the flow as we took it from the shower to the bed, even though it was my first time. And my mood instantly lifted because well, he was my husband and I loved him.

It was painful and it was rough. There was no foreplay. But as long as Adam was pleasured then I was happy. I was sure I wouldn't be able to walk for the next few days properly. But Adam seemed to enjoy himself and that's all that mattered. If Adam was happy, then I was happy.

When we finished he roughly yanked me by the hair so I was forced to look at him in the dim lighting.

"Why didn't you bleed?" He growled at me.

I felt my heart plummet. Adam thought I wasn't a virgin because my hymen didn't break. I felt tears in my eyes as I frantically thought of a way to explain to him that my hymen broke when I was over exerting myself on the volleyball team in high school. I wanted to be pure for Adam and not dirty. I am not dirty.

He pulled my hair again as he threatened me.

"I will divorce you and I will not hesitate to ruin you or your family." Adam's eyes glowered. My heart stopped for a second. I couldn't divorce Adam. I loved him.

"Adam listen-" I started before he hit me and scraped my neck with his nails in the process.

"Don't call me Adam!" He bellowed as he rose above me, like a toxic shadow.

"Mr. Pember-" I started in a choked tone as I felt my throat and my heart constrict from all the pain and tightness in my heart.

"I tore my hymen when I played volleyball in high school." I whispered to him so I wouldn't break down in front of him. I couldn't muster speaking in anything other than a whisper because I was afraid I would cry. So much for that coffee this morning.

Adam's features visibly softened and I felt myself staring at him in awe once again. I wanted nothing more than to run my fingers through his silky, dark hair and stare into his striking, grey eyes all day long. But just as the moment came, it left just as fast.

"We're going to the doctor tomorrow. You're a whore. I can't trust you."