The Skin I'm In

Chapter 4: Sad and Lingering Thoughts

Spring's P.O.V
     Sometimes it hurts. When it does, it hurts a lot. I can feel my emotions piling up in my throat and no one's ever there, everyone is too busy worrying about themselves and as selfish as it may sound, I wish everyone would just focus on me for once. On how I have no one but me. I don't have my family cause if I talk about it I'll be bombarded with reasons to give in to a religious belief that I'm not quite ready for. I don't hate it but I'm not ready.
Everyone seems so pristine and perfect like dolls and it scares me. I tend to see the worst in the good and the good in the worst. Yes. I've thought about wanting to kill myself. Yes. I've been ashamed of my physical differences. Sometimes I wish it was all simple. As stupid as it sounds, I want to be able to make mistakes like everyone else. Fall in love for one night and feel the complete bliss of having somebody even if it's not forever. I get over excited sometimes and expect a little too much. Maybe I was expecting a little too much with Harry, but he seemed so nice until after the weekend. As he walked in the halls with a girl on his arm he'd smirk at me like I was a complete idiot. I found out he was a junior and I was only a freshman so I don't know what I was expecting, he's too old for me anyway. I could be over reacting. I mean it's me. Spring Evermore. I don't usually care about boys. I do my school work, go to rehearsal if I have it, and go home.
     I was currently sat at lunch, under the tree that I alway sat under. I read Edgar Allen Poe thinking of how crazy he must've been but especially how talented he was. You could almost feel the emotions in every word he wrote like he spoke these words personally to you. He did many wrongs but he was just another misunderstood human in this world and that's one thing we have in common. My thoughts were interrupted when I noticed a shadow in front of me.

"Hey! What's your name?" I heard an Irish accent speak.
I looked up with a formal smile on my face.

"Spring. You?"

"Niall. You mind if I sit here, love?" He asked in the sweetest way ever I had to give in. He sat down next to me on the floor as he unpacked his lunch.

"You new 'ere love? I've never seen you around campus."

"Yeah I'm a freshmen." I smiled at him as he looked into my brown eyes with his blue ones.

"Oooh freshmen. How you liking things 'ere at dale high?", he teased.

"Yeah it's cool! I guess." I agreed,saying the last part underneath my breath.

"What are you?"

"Oh I'm a junior."

My breath caught in my throat as I saw him stare at my hands.