The Skin I'm In

Chapter 7: "Am i enough?"

Spring's P.O.V
I walked out of the gates of school. My ankle really hurt today so I had to catch the bus and I hated the bus, it was filled with people. Too many people. I made my way to the seven building, practically limping and trying not to make it obvious. In my peripheral vision I saw them making out once again at the lockers and I sighed loudly to get their attention because they were blocking mine.

"Excuse me?" I shouted.

They stopped, panting, "What?", the girl spat with rudeness clear in her tone.

"Y-you're on my locker." I stated with that damn stutter.

Harry's face was flushed as he watched in surprise, "Babe, let's just move."

He reasoned with her and I stood there waiting for them to move as the blonde haired girl gazed at me like I was disgusting, but I didn't care, I was in too much pain to even address it. They finally moved and I limped to my locker, taking what I needed for the project. I sighed, zipping up my red backpack before limping to the bus loop. I got on the bus and immediately put my earphones in. I arrived at the front of my house and thanked the bus driver as he bid me a good one. Walking into my house, I swiftly sat on the floor as my weak feet couldn't take it any more, trying not to cry, I took a deep breath. My mom walked from the kitchen seeing me on the tile wood floor.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

Opening my mouth to answer, I broke into sobs.

"It hurts so much!" I exclaimed.

She took off my boot and look at the gauze that concealed my wound to see blood seeping through the dressing. She winced at the sight and went to get some medical supplies to change it. The feeling was impeccable and I felt like I couldn't breathe. The doctor said there'd be times when it would hurt but in all my fifteen years of living I don't think any incision has caused me so much pain. At this time in my life, I've had around 30-40 surgeries, the exact number is a mystery. All I could remember was that by the time I was seven I was already on my eighth one.
My mom returned with the supplies and cautiously changed the bandaging as I winced quietly to let her know she was too rough or whether or not I needed a breather. The blood dripped slowly into the basin, taunting me. Letting me know that I could never be normal. I sighed deeply as my mom finished, disposing the dirty gloves and supplies, emerging from the kitchen she came with pills and a bottle of Gatorade.

"Here. Take these." I thanked her and did as told.

"Um mom?"

"Yes, Spring?"

"Harry's coming over to finish the project."

"Alright, Honey. Let me help you upstairs."

She helped me off the hardwood floor and led me up to my room, sitting me on my bed, telling me to relax and that she'd alert me when Harry got here. I thanked her and soon after felt my phone buzz in my pocket.

H-
I'll be there in five.

I showed my mom the text and she nodded heading downstairs. My mom was my rock, she's been with me through thick and thin and I'm so grateful for her. The doorbell sounded loudly from downstairs and I slowly raised my head off the pillow, taking out the supplies. I sat up and pushed my glasses up the bridge of my nose. I heard mumbling downstairs as well as footsteps when I saw him emerge from the stairs, hair messy, sweatpants hung low on his hips, with a grin on his face.

"Hey." He greeted shortly.

"Hi." I said in return.

He looked at me with an emotion I couldn't decipher.

"Are you okay?"

I didn't answer and I felt my eyes tear up in the slightest.

"Yeah. I just have a lot going on right now." My voice broke towards the end of my sentence and a tear fell down my cheek as I wiped it off.

You're pathetic. Don't cry in front of him.

I  shied from his glance and changed the subject.

"Anyways," I sighed.

"Do you have the pictures?" I asked.

"Uh. Yeah here you go."

I took the pictures from his hands, beautiful candids were taken of the special needs kids as they did volunteer work; selling coffee or just being themselves and being happy and it made me think. Am I crazy? Is there something  wrong with me? The sadness seeped into my soul and I was full on crying. My hands covered my face as I poured my feelings into them, the nights that I laid in bed at night debating my own life making lists why I didn't deserve to live seeped in and my demons took over.

"Spring?" I heard his voice but I couldn't stop; my head was pounding and I couldn't take it anymore.

-
Harry's P.O.V

I handed her the pictures and her soft hands touched mine. Gazing at the pictures, her eyes teared up. I felt a smile creep onto my face, knowing I had hit the jackpot. The mood of the room changed so quickly when I saw her start to cry, her sobs were the most painful thing to hear, let alone watch.

"Spring?"

She didn't stop when I called her name and I didn't know what to do so I wrapped my arms around her in a hug as she sobbed into my chest. The pain was evident in her face when I saw her at the lockers, wanting to address it, I couldn't have. Vivian was there and let's just say she's not the nicest. She stopped, her pants loud and clear, I could see the pain in her eyes as she tried to compose herself. She hiccuped trying to hold back her sobs but hyperventilating was what surfaced.

"Hey. Breathe. You got this. You're okay."

Her curls were all over the place and her face was flushed. It was silent as I leaned her into me, breathing calming by the minute.

"Am I enough?", her voice was fragile when she spoke.

"Why would you ask that?" I pondered, looking at her immensely.

"When you look at me what do you see?" She searched for something in me I wasn't sure I could give her.

I opened my mouth saying the first thing that came to my mind.

"Pain and sadness that you can change, you don't have to be sad forever. You just can't do it alone,"

A tear fell down her cheek and I wiped it off with the pad of my thumb.

This is the chance for me to do what I should have done back then.

"and I'm gonna help you whether you like it or not."