The Skin I'm In

Chapter Eighteen: How It Came To Be

Spring's P.O.V
Although summer was going great, it was time to get down to business with my health. After going to see my surgeon in Miami and scheduling what I was sure had been my hundredth time- for surgery.

A procedure was done last year, a huge one at that. My artery had to be taken from my thigh to be put on to my foot, it may sound simple, but it was intricate enough for me to be put in the PICU, Pediatrics Intensive Care Unit. I remember sitting in my bed from the glass door of my room, watching parents mourn over their coma bound daughter, she was born with a messed up lung and she barely made it to the hospital. In this wing of the hospital they are obligated to check on you regularly and by that I mean every living second. My flap could die at any minute. I had a living, breathing piece of flesh on the heal of my foot and if I lost it I was at risk of losing my foot. My mom used to tell me to stop worrying about the girl and worry about my own problems, I was in the PICU for goodness sake, but I didn't care.
By the age of eleven I decided I would get my toes amputated, not because I wanted it, but it had to happen so the infection didn't spread to my legs and have to have those amputated. My family was totally against it, but it was too much of a risk, I had to do it.

Sickness is one of the cruelest things that inhabits the earth. My parents and sister didn't think to sign up for a sick child or sister when they had me because I was healthy, born a healthy, happy baby. When I was at the age of six months I began having symptoms of red spots on my feet and my mom told me I would cry endlessly until one day she was fed up, and began to strip me of all my clothes when she saw it. Immediately brought to the hospital, everything was fine, a simple rash they said.

It didn't stop there cause as I grew, the skin grew with me, when it did it was very painful.

After many doctors appointments I was diagnosed with palmoplantar keratoderma at the age of six and although a name was given for the disease, I was still suffering and I needed it to stop. The sleepless nights, the emotional and physical pain of it all just had to stop.

I never told Harry the story, not all of it anyways, he knows as far as the surgeries, not much explaining has surfaced since we skimmed over the topic. He deserved to know, since he's been my shoulder to lean on for the overall school year even when I tried to deny it, he was there for me, and I couldn't ask for anything more.

"How do you feel about your surgery on Wednesday?" He asked me as we sat in our designated spot at the cafe.

"I'm ready for it. It's nothing I haven't been through before." I smiled, sipping on my milkshake.

Harry shook his head at me with a huge smile on his face.

"What?" I chuckled with my mouthful of burger.

"You're really inspiring, Spring. Honestly. I've never met someone so down to earth, talented, beautiful, strong, you really are an example for so many people out there."

"Thank you." I blushed, not really knowing what to say, I couldn't conjure up any other way to respond.

"Anyways, where is the surgery happening and what time?"

"It's happening at seven in the morning at Miami Children's Hospital. My parents and I are leaving the house around four in the morning so we can be there early to sign papers and get everything ready so it can be done on time. I should only be hospitalized for two days a maximum." I explained.

"That sucks."

"No. It's the least I've ever been hospitalized. Trust me, I've spent months in the hospital, it's nothing. It doesn't suck, this is the best my health has been in a while." I shook my head furiously.

"I'm sorry-"

I rolled my eyes.

"Don't apologize. I'm just complex, I should understand that not everyone understands."

I shook my head at myself, I'm so stupid. He's a soon to be senior quarterback, out of all people he wouldn't understand.

"Spring."

I take a deep breath as my phone chimes in my lap, opening to a message that my mom was here to get me.

"Whatever. I'm gonna go, my mom is just outside." I brushed off the conversation swiftly.

"Hey. Wait. Are we good? Have I hit a nerve?"

He asks as he shuffles to his feet, quickly stopping me from exiting the door of the diner.

No. I'm just a little on edge is all." I lied, I was a little irritated, but I was the one being uptight about it, it wasn't his fault, how could he have known?

He gave me a look that reassured me that we could talk about this whenever I was ready and he kissed my cheek, walking me out of the diner. My mother came into view as I smiled widely at her.

"Hey mama!" I ran up to the car, hopping in and kissing her cheek.

"Hey honey. Did you have fun?" She smiled.

"Yeah, I took care of her Mrs Evermore.", Harry chimes in.

"Great to hear. Have a goodnight sweetie."

They said their goodbyes and we headed home. The atmosphere was quiet as the drove, the radio playing faintly in the background.

"Did something happen? You don't look so happy."

"I'm fine."

"Alright. Di m si anyen k ap pase avè l."

I nodded, "map di w mama."

We arrived home and I wished everyone a goodnight before going to bed and wondering if Harry would ever understand what being with me was actually like and when he did, would he stay or leave?

The sad thing about it was that I wasn't sure if I minded the latter. I came first and if anybody really wants me they will be willing to learn and understand.

"Cause I promise to god, Spring will stay Spring."