Sanders Sides One Shots

Do you hate me? - Logicality

Deep down Patton knows Logan has emotions that maybe he just doesn't want to express and that's okay. Patton's only fear is that Logan doesn't love him back or maybe worse, that he hates him. For the prompt: "I don't hate you. I could never hate you. That's the problem."  

-------------------------------------

Patton knows, he knows deep down that Logan can never fully express what he feels. But he knows he feels. Call it instinct or maybe because Patton is so in tune with emotions but he knows. Still, it hurts when Logan speaks in such a cold and uncaring manner but he understands. He understands that it's hard for Logan to accept his emotions when he expects himself to be purely rational, he understands it's hard then to express said emotions, and still he's disappointed.

Maybe Patton is more disappointed in himself than in Logan. He hadn't meant to feel differently for him, hadn't meant to fall completely and utterly in love with him. But he had. He is. He is in love with Logan. And Logan doesn't feel the same. He doesn't know how Logan feels. And that it quite possibly the most frustrating thing in the world.

Theoretically Logan could love him. But he could also dislike him, loathe him, hate him. Patton is unsure because they're so different, they're opposites, he frustrates Logan to no end. And yeah. Maybe Logan hates him.

Patton doesn't realise he's zoned out until a hand waves in front of his face. He shakes his head and pulls himself out of his thoughts. He's currently sitting atop of the kitchen counter next to the oven, waiting for the cupcakes to bake, and has a half drank cup of coffee in his hand that's luke warm at this point.

"Patton?" It's Logan. Great. Patton focuses his gaze on the other; Logan looks slightly concerned, his eyebrows furrowed so Patton assumes he's tried to gain his attention for a while now. "Sorry about that Lo," Patton apologises, smiling back at the other hoping to ease his worry slightly and it seemed to work. Logan moves to the side, Patton sees him out of the corner of his eye making more coffee, he asks Patton if he wants a cup but he refuses, instead going back to his thoughts.

Logan could tell Patton was zoning out again, his eyes staring at the wall straight ahead and taking sips of his coffee every so often but it seems more mechanically than usual. He didn't exactly know what to do, especially because he doesn't know what is the cause of this is in the first place. "Patton?" He asks again, hoping that the other would hopefully respond quicker than before and hopefully he would tell him what was up with him.

But Logan didn't anticipate this. He didn't expect Patton to not even turn to him, to express little emotion, and to ask "do you hate me?" Logan stops fumbling with his cup and turns to look directly at Patton. "Why would you think that?" Logan questions, his face falling from concentration to confusion, unsure of why Patton would even think such a thing.

Patton meets the other's gaze and smiles weakly, an attempt of reassurance but Logan isn't buying it, instead he moves so he's standing in front of Patton, close but not too close. "Why do you think I hate you?" Logan asks again, his voice harsher, perhaps driven by emotion but Patton is too caught up to focus on that right now. "I-I just," Patton sighs knowing he can't can't get out of this easily, "you just don't seem to care. I know emotions aren't really your forte, and I'm too emotional and irritating and infuriating a-and-"

"I don't hate you. I could never hate you." Logan interrupts him, his hands reaching out to take Patton's cup from him then hesitantly grasps Patton's hands in his own. "That's the problem," Logan adds quietly, almost as an afterthought. Relief floods over Patton for a moment before he catches his last sentence, "what do you mean it's a problem?" Patton just looks at him expectantly and Logan looks extremely uncomfortable, like he'd rather be anywhere but here.

Logan loosens his grip on Patton's hands but Patton tightens it again, afraid that if he lets go Logan will leave and leave this whole thing unexplained. "I don't hate you," Logan starts, Patton nods in acknowledgement and allows Logan to take a breath, "it's, uh, quite the opposite but I-I don't know how to-" In any other situation Patton would have laughed fondly at how Logan is stumbling over himself, a faint blush on his cheeks, but he doesn't. "I know you don't know how to express your emotions," Patton confirms with that tight smile still gracing his lips, "but-"

"I'm in love with you."

Patton is stunned to say the least, shocked enough that Logan slips his hands from Patton's and takes to leave. Patton jumps off of the kitchen counter and catches Logan's arm, "wait!" he practically shouts at the other. "You don't...? But you...you love me?" Patton gasps out, his head full of confusion but he know what Logan said; it only takes him seconds to engulf Logan in a hug, mutter an 'I love you too' into Logan's shoulder. Logan stays shocked and tense for a moment but returns the hug seconds later.